Mar
11
2010

Vegas usually annoys the piss out of me …

… seriously. It’s full of cheeseball douchebag wanna-be brainless fashion victims. It annoys me so much that normally I go windmill tilting and try to annoy it right back, but that has generally ended badly — like, my-friend-covered-in-a-third-party’s-blood badly — so I thought, okay, this time I’m going to play nice …

.. apparently, I didn’t play nice enough …

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… I really don’t get why women take so much pleasure in hurting me, but moving on … we headed downtown with every intention of shooting some pictures of Fremont, when I saw:

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… it screamed “road trip classic”, I just knew that this was my bar …

… minus the tila tequila wanna-be, pictured below …

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… great locals joint. Sexy women, cheap tequila, midget twins … can you really lose? Well, apparently I can …

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… I guess I offended her by wiping off the copious lipstick … we did make up after that …

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.. right before her husband, who was there the whole time, made his appearence … oops .. I guess “I’m here with my girlfriends” means something else in Vegas.

By zoobroker | Posted in bars, girls, nevada, slapped | Tagged , | Comments (0)
Mar
11
2010

Glitz and Bits

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Vegas, helloooo again!

Zoo and I are on a little R&R and hopped over to Fremont for some photo ops and she-nan-i-gans.

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Reminds me of my head.

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Rub it…

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Zoo spotted this bar, had a hunch and made a run for it.

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Music wasn’t impressive, but I felt like we were transported to Portland, OR. It was so NOT-VEGAS, chill, firelit and filled with younger, somewhat less-skanky people.

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And some beautiful people…

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And fun people, some with sequin pants and mismatched shoes. Good times. Will come back, for sure.

By Phauxtog | Posted in nevada | Tagged , , | Comments (0)
Sep
21
2009

Almost back to NYC!

Thanks, everyone for dropping by! Sorry we didn’t post much during the trip, but we’ll add some more Chicago and Pittsburgh info soon!
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By zoobroker | Posted in illinois, indiana, michigan, new jersey, new york, ohio, pennsylvania | Comments (0)
Sep
19
2009

Let’s Party!

This is a pic of the folks remaining at 10 o’clock, after some of the less spry guests departed:
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Not actually at the party, but the wedding party took these classic Fords to the Reception. As far as I’m concerned, these were the last great American cars! (Just kidding!)
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The obligatory coordinated dancing rigamarole:
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Andrew Schmale, the Ring Bearer, lets loose:
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The best man, the bride and groom agree to let me do my superman impression. Whoever grabbed my package, THANKS!
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By zoobroker | Posted in michigan | Tagged , | Comments (0)
Sep
19
2009

Mara’s mom

Now, I have to say, all of the parents were great. We got to speak at length to both Kevin and Mara’s mothers, but Mara’s Mom, Deb, invited us to sit next to her at the reception. What a wonderful, loving woman. If Mara is half as lovely as her mom is, Kevin is the luckiest man of our generation.

She did me the great honor of allowing me a dance:
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By zoobroker | Posted in on the road | Comments (0)
Sep
19
2009

Rich Quick Is a Curmudgeon

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This guy’s first words to me: “I seen a fella walking up my driveway, and I say to myself, boy that guys got quite a tan! I’m not racist or anything.”

Followed by: “Those damn Polacks are stubborn sunnabitches.”

Followed by: “I don’t care what color yer skin is, I love them hooters!”

By zoobroker | Posted in michigan | Tagged , | Comments (0)
Sep
19
2009

Joe & The Groomsmen

No, not the hottest band in Michigan (although it wouldn’t be suprising).

Joe was the Best Man, and great fun all night. He had the unenviable job of following up the Maid of Honor’s tear-jerker, which better not happen to me next Spring.

The Speech
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It was so good his head got big (that’s what you get with a wide angle lens, stop being so damn tall!)
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By zoobroker | Posted in michigan | Tagged , | Comments (0)
Sep
19
2009

Introducing the Konings …

We barely know Mara. We didn’t even remember Kevin’s name until Mara reminded us via text 24 hours before the event. In any case, what a spectacular couple. I suspect that in another life, Mara would have been a fellow Life-Is-A-Road-Tripper and Kevin would be a regular at Sunday Poker Night. When two strange men crash your wedding at the behest of the bride, a lot of grooms would go into a full blown jealous passive aggressive meltdown. Kevin didn’t miss a beat. It probably helps that he’s a lot better looking than either of us. And Mara? After that bachelorette party, we tried to suss out if Mara was at all serious. I mean, drunken BS aside, there are a lot of reasons that you don’t want two semi-unbalanced road trippers at your wedding.

The First Dance
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The Spin Into Kiss
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Once a Girl Scout, Always a Girl Scout
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Both times I’ve met Mara, she’s been wearing a sash. Strange.

By zoobroker | Posted in michigan | Tagged , , , | Comments (0)
Sep
19
2009

Neither Vince Vaughn or Owen Wilson …

… but not too shabby.

For those just joining us, these are your wedding crashers du jour …

Phaux in the ‘Always Slimming All Black’:
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Zoobroker in the trey:
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By zoobroker | Posted in on the road | Comments (0)
Sep
19
2009

The Wedding Is On …

Really. We. Are. Here.  Ok, for those who haven’t been following the story along the way, here’s the deal.  We met Mara a few weeks ago — on the night of her bachelorette party.  She was winding down the night with her possibly nymphomaniac neighbor, Vicky, by having pizza at Two Boots.  At Midnight.  Sober.  What kind of bachelorette party is that?  Crickette, Phaux and I remedied this by pouring shots of tequila down everyone’s throat.  Until 3:30.  At which point the concerned fiancee, Kevin, shows up, as his future bride has been incommunicado for 3 hours.  He could have quite rightly given us the “Who the fuck are you guys?”  but he joined the festivities for a shot, and at some point Mara flippantly invites us to the wedding.  I’m sure she thought we’d never show up — but she hasn’t visited lifeisaroadtrip.com before.

So, we’re here. Here’s the happy couple …

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Tons of pictures after the break

Read More »

By zoobroker | Posted in on the road | Comments (0)