There’s a certain phrase bandied about, “The grass is always greener on the other side.” I’ve heard it applied in so many ways, including in reference to relationships (and how it isn’t… eventually), work  (and how it isn’t… eventually) and playtime (and how it isn’t… eventually – getting the point?) But a new insight is that I appreciate vacation more for having a regular job and vice versa. Like not knowing how wonderful light is only in its absence, you have to have opposites (or dissimilarities) to appreciate. Again, comparisons are the key. They are the reference, the measuring stick and the opportunity for insight. (more…)

On the other hand, it is conceivable that you can appreciate something simply because you can. If you have the clarity of self to see what you have/do and like it for what is is, is it not possible to simply enjoy that without juxtaposing? I believe so.

If you believe your grass is green, then it is. ‘Nuff said.

So now I am at home, enjoying the comfort of my well-chosen green couch, cat by my side, after a full day of work where I am appreciated and I appreciate it. I like spam, and it likes me.

Let’s visit a moment from the road trip. Night in Cheyenne, and our new friend Tyler asked me, “So what does the rest of the country think of us in Wyoming?” My blank stare left room for him to elaborate. He continued, “You know, with all of the bad things that have happened here?” He gave me some details and I simply remarked, ” I don’t watch television, listen to the radio or listen to newspapers. I don’t know what these things are and my own opinion, because I can’t speak for everyone else, is that I like Wyoming, and everyone I have met so far. In addition, it’s getting better all the time. I am having fun and I’m going to tell everyone about it.” So there you have it, lots of beliefs wrapped in a tiny little conversation:

• What do other people think of me? (and how does that inform my own opinion of myself)
• I believe I am a good person and live with good people.
• What do you think of me/us?

I believe that every single person is distinct and different. Groupings and categorizations are unfair and unrealistic. Zoo figured this out, too. This is such a wonderful belief to reaffirm over and over while on the road. You meet the best people while holding this belief.

So, here is the real meat of this closing thought – you are what you believe. If you believe yourself to be open to new experiences, you will be. If you believe the gravel road under your wheels is the best possible path you can take at that moment, it will be. If you believe that the Amber Ale is crap and that the Stout is better (Zoo…), then so shall it be. And if you believe that you can do what you want to do and it will make you feel good… then you will feel like I do right now.

Way more pics after the break …

First, we started with a bang in Omaha, then I got to talk to a future mad scientist.  I got my ass kicked in virtual kung-fu under the stars.  We really did see The Most Amazing Road On Earth.  There was no you could plan this.  And we opened up the vault and found a great surprise.

There were so many more moments, but those are my top 6 … only two more posts from me before I close the door on RT3 and start looking forward.

When I said I was taking a road trip through the Plains and the Rockies, some people asked “Why would you want to do that?”. Others warned me of racists, guns and small minds and who knows what else. Forget that most of these folks have only seen the middle of the country from 30000 feet as they fly coast-to-coast: the mentality was that there was almost no reason to go check out what my Mountain Time Zone brothers are up to, except maybe for a ski vacation.

You might think you’d hear the similar complaints from the citizens of the Rockies – they did after all vote for George Bush, right? What love could they have for us liberal, wine-tasting, Prius-driving snobs? Wrong. Most people were genuinely interested in the goings-on out on the coasts, asking probing questions, and mostly, they just wanted to have a good time with us.

Think twice before you denigrate the “red states”. If you think the differences in our politics mean you can’t enjoy all the people and places around, you are the ones with the small minds.

From the myriad of people we met on the road, to our friends, fans and family back home, thank you all.

We’ll be posting more very interesting stuff we just didn’t have time to pull of while on the road in the next week or so, so keep checking. Plus, a super-secret special opportunity of a lifetime.

Social spamming was hella fun.

Taking – no – MAKING time to have a road trip with Zoo Broker was one of the best decisions I have made this year, and let me tell you folks, it’s been a year for decisions. I so very enjoyed myself that it is hard to clearly explain. Perhaps all of the posts we made for you (well, for us really) will, in total, represent an experience that mirrors my path in life. Deliberately unplanned, but pursued with enthusiastic vigor.

Full entry after the jump.

If you take a peek at my opening musings, you’ll find that I put forth some goals for the trip. Let’s see how I did:

• Uncertain destinations (YES)
• Lots of photo-ops (YES)
• Some ridiculously inebrious evenings (YES)
• Perhaps double mileage versus previous trips (3,200 miles)
• Meaningful, probing conversation (YES, IN PLENITUDES)
• Insights (YES, WILL EXPAND ON THIS)
• Glee (YES)
• New people with interesting stories weaving into ours (YES, SEE BLOG)
• Potentially embarrassing moments (YES, SOME NOT SHARED WITH THE PUBLIC)
• Incredible discoveries only found via an open mind and no agenda (YES, SEE HERE & HERE)
• Deep, satisfying exhaustion (YES, TOOK A NAP YESTERDAY)

Do you achieve all your goals? I am not mystified at all that I did. I chose my priorities and focused on them. Everything else fell into place alongside this journey because I have learned (and practice) that you have to focus on the things you can control, and let everything else take care of itself.

Here is the wonderful part… Now I get to set NEW goals. Yes, exciting! I do already have some big plans involving some art, and am ready to jump on that immediately, as well as getting back to a healthy diet (big wink).

As for Zoo Broker, he has been the finest friend I could ask for. Exciting, sharing, generous, thoughtful, encouraging, brazen, inspiring and made me laugh until I cried more than a few times.

Let me share some insights that found me while on this epic journey.

People are generally the same, no matter where you go. To be specific, there are so many indiviual people with different goals and dreams (or dreads), that an generality by region is impossible. Each person you meet is full of potential. Some are more exceptional, and I think this is because they also have a keen interest in life.

America is diverse and wonderful. From the seediest piss-smelling alleys to the majestic and barren desert mountain ranges, it is a composition of amazing things. I love it all. Juxtaposition is the key. I recently went to an Edward Tufte seminar and he states that presenting data without comparison is a meager meal. In this case, seeing the smallest of towns (population 16) to the big metropolises, the plains to the Rockies, the desert to the forest gave me a grand scale for comparison. It’s within these differences that lie the opportunity for gratitude, and I am very grateful to have learned more about my country.

I knew this already, but it has been reinforced during this trip: If you do not make time to do the things you love, you may never do them. Just change your priorities.

Being selfish is not a bad thing. After all, who is more important in this world than yourself? I had an interesting conversation with a mostly drunk architect last night and brought up my favorite question (for architects), “Have you read THE FOUNDTAINHEAD?” LOLz, it realy gets some of them going. I see that book as having lots of people acting on the beliefs surrounding “being selfish”. Exercising your personal right to choose happiness for yourself before choosing it for other people is what I choose. In general, America sees selfish as a very negative word. I do not. I will always choose my happiness first. This does, however, go hand in hand with the belief that I treat the world as I want to be treated. That is harmony.

Doing unplanned things is one of the best ways to learn something you do not know. It sounds so obvious, but you won’t know what Imean until you do it. Why re-learn things you know? Life is toooooo short.

Take the time to tell other people that you like your life. It helps the world become a better place when people know that happiness is out there…

As Zoo Broker repeatedly says, “the opportunity never taken is something that will never happen. It’s always better to do it, than not do it.” You only get one chance (that we know of) here and now. Do something you like with it.

–SpamZalot

Spammer calls me an “instigator” — that I like to “remind people that they are alive”. Well, these past 10 days have reminded me that I was still alive, that there are things to do — maybe not things of great import – but at least to find some excuse or basic justification for my continued existence. It’s reminded me that the value of comfort — the easy life – it pales in comparison to the value of adventure and challenge.

I’m looking forward to hitting the ground running when I get back to San Francisco – whether it’s to get started on my projects, breaking out the new drums and finishing our Road Trip song, or just causing general havoc.

Part 2 (Almost Ranting) to come tomorrow …

Well, today, I hit 500 pushups for our trip.

I feel a little better about myself, but one of my heroin-skinny shirts won’t button over my chest anymore. Here’s me remembering to do pushups in the Albany bar in Cheyenne. That’s brown lightning, baby.

Last night out… It was rainy early on as we headed to dinner, and just plain wet when we were done. Note to all: New cowboy boots are slippery onwet stone block (and 16th street is ALL paving blocks!)

Tons of photos after the jump.

Tonight, Zoo Broker and I ate at Appaloosa. We heard from a certain source that someone we met 1 1/2 years ago here in Denver was working there… It turns out that yes, this certain someone works here, but worked the lunch shift. Alas… what were we to do but enjoy ourselves anyway? Deets after the break.

First off, some Queso Dip and I had a really spicy and good Chicken Lasagna.

I had my first (and second) pint of White Rascal – a Belgian-style white beer made in Boulder. Damn fine beer.

Next up we had a neighbor that Zoo realllllllllly liked.

Than the Clam Addys took the stage

Do yerself a favor if you’re in town and they are playing – go see them. Great singer, harmoica player… Aw, heck they’re all fantastic.

Good bar, good times. Thanks, Denver!

It was only fitting since I’ve already covered LODO, it was more important to meet some of the people that work and party here.

TONS – I mean LOTS of nightlife photos after the break.

First off, meet Danielle. She likes mining.

And when not mining, is a stunning woman. (OK, she’s still sexy when mining.)

She invited Zoo to mine.

And it was like a magical elixir:
 

So he started other prospecting:

Which was taken so favorably that he was rewarded with some dances on the bar:

Meet Beth – her husband works here (he’s on the left, and a damn cool guy). It took about two hours, but the gal with the best hair in Denver, a self-proclaimed pacifist, finally let one loose on him.

And it wasn’t the last.

During a smoke break, we met two incredibly intelligent and sexy women:

And Zoo just doesn’t know when to accept only a kiss…

Again demonstrated here:

All in all, this bar is downright fun.

Just watch out when they bring you the check…

The Blake Street Vault is one of those places that just got it right.  The owners, who have owned 14 bars previously, overlooked no details in putting this place together.   After finishing dinner across the street, we spotted the beautiful lighting and just walked into what was to become a fantastic evening.

More pictures and commentary after the break …

These are the owners, Carol and Jim.  Wonderful people with a great story and a great bar.

After a few massive chalice-sized beers, Carol invited us to taste whiskey.  The owners went down to the Jack Daniel’s Distillery and selected a barrel of “Single Barrel”, a super-fine whiskey, individually crafted, signed, which produces 240 bottles, which are labeled with the owner’s name and bar.  Carol allowed us to taste the Single Barrel along side the standard #7 and Gentleman Jack.  I think it speaks to our palattes that Spammer and myself both preferred the standard #7 … but it was a great experience. Carol gave us the whole history of the Single Barrel and even more.  We love people who are enthusiastic about their trade.

This is a shot of the bar from above.  It’s only been open for 5 weeks, so there was still room to move.  Expect that to change.

We did miss a clear picture of the custom-installed and absoutely gorgeous tin ceiling.    You can just make it out above, but it’s one of the many touches that the Blake Street Vault employs to make it one of the most beautiful bars that I’ve seen.

We didn’t get to taste the food, but if the passion and attention to detail that we saw in other aspects of this place are put into dining as well, I have a feeling we will be eating a lot of meals here in the future.

Although our waitress was a not, the meal was gorgeous and awesome.  We recommend the quesadilla, fajitas, enchiladas and especially the green chili.

Our new favorite beer: 90 Shilling (and some Blue Moon in the Broncos glass):

More photos and grab-ass after the break.

Brandi shows us her Thursday tattoo. Apparently, it’s an obscure band from New Jersey. I believe Zoo is pointing to where the wedding ring goes…

Danielle didn’t know what was coming…

but certainly knew how to handle it. She’s 21 – we checked – so it’s legal for her to hit Zoo.

Zoo said he liked it and wanted one more…

Anyhoo, this is a fantastic billiards bar. Come play when you are here, but avoid table 16, it has a massive westward drift.

After having morning coffee and blog time, I made my way over to The Wrangler. I was itchin’ for some cowboy boots. Having never owner a pair, or even gonne into a western wear store, I was floored. Lookit all them boots!

More pics and stories after the break:
I found just the right pair and a super-friendly Cheyenne-ite (whose sister live 7 miles from me in New York), rang me up and gave me some greta advice on driving to Denver.

See, it’s Saturday and by Wyoming standards, there are lots of Saturday road-ragers on the highway, so she gave me a tip. We took a lesser-known highway.

It was like deja-vu. 65 mph, slow down to 50, then to 45, then 35, then a small town less than a mile long with a railroad and grain towers on the left, some seedy bar ond general store on the right, done and repeat.

There was this interesting creature, though. Methinks it’s Zoo’s id.

Today was a very short drive (by our standards), only 2 1/2 hours. So, we’rte back in Colorado and Denver again. Wow… Now to tear up this town for 2 or so days before flying to our homes. I’m certain we’ll make some more indelible marks on this city, and perhaps visit Croc’s again…

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Thanks for following along so far!  I hope it’s been entertaining — or at least slightly amusing — and we’ll have some more for you shortly! It’s not over yet — now we get to celebrate in Denver.  We’ll be looking up old friends, hopefully making some new ones.

Straight ahead lies the end of our long and stimulating loop o’ fun. Road miles, road smiles.

Zoo says: According to National Geographic, the land area of Great Britain is 80823 square miles. Our loop enclosed a area roughly 3 times the size: 253000 square miles. But that’s still less than 10 percent of the continental United States.

Here is where we had our steak dinner:

Lots of shots after the break:
Here is Shadows – our bar.

Wish I had visited while they were open to get a cowboy hat and boots :(

These people are smart. Love it.

…and funny.

The capitol building is in the distance.

Here is the bar we decided NOT to go to…

Here is our hotel – The Plains

Mosaic in the sidewalk outside

Lobby

A real player piano…

Many thanks to the folks behind the counter for allowing me to snap some shots.

– zoo

We knew things were going to be awesome when we ordered 2 beers and 2 anejo tequila shots and the total was 12 dollars.

read more to see the rest of the action…

Shortly after, we met Tyler (in white) and Tesla-man.  I think his name was Mike. Or Mark.   Tyler was totally cool, and within 5 minutes of meeting us felt comfortable enough to break out our first “Harold and Kumar” comment.  Tyler, if you read this, remember to go to the Green Street bar in Salt Lake City.

Spammer is having his ass grabbed in this picture.

And then I tried one of my famous pick-up lines again, this time with the lovely Chutney.  I may have said “I want some chutney on my shish kebab”.

I think it speaks to my skill with the ladies that I only got punched once.  Spammer tried this with the following result:

We moved on to another bar at Tyler’s invitation, and wouldnt-ya-know, another right hook.

Shortly after, we met Steve Stinger, who we warned to not continue with the crazy hair after the age of 29.

Inside the bar, we met the other brown man in cheyenne: Valentino.  He was pimp.

Then I lost at pool and got angry:

And that was that.

“cheyenne”  – spelled wrong.

“spam”

“zoobroker”:

Zoo Says:  Driving Cross Country Without having to touch New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Indiana, and any of the south is cool.

Zoo Broker lives in San Francisco, I live in Dobbs Ferry, NY.

The distance between our homes is 2,926 miles.

And guess what? You can’t make this shit up. It happened on this road:

Later on when the Vimeo movie time-lapse is up, you can see where we get out of the car and do a little victory dance. We just drove the equivalent of going from California to New York. Awe-some.

I think I remember Zoo shouting something like, “Top of the world!”

Zoo Says: Um, the quote is “I’m the King of The World”, but I didn’t even say that.  I said, “Do I look fat up here?”

But seriously, you can’t do this kind of thing with just anyone. Why would you? Good friends with an open mind and a lust for the open road and the new experiences that come along with that are paramount on a journey like this.

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We had no side trips today, except for a little celebration we’ll post separately. So, this is a small collection of photos that can be taken from Route 80. I gotta say, I had no idea that Wyoming had such diverse terrain, and a humongous canyon (that we did not visit – we would have missed our steaks tonight!)

So, without further ado… photos after the break:

OK, we really have no sponsor, but we like them anyway. As much as you can like a gas company.

Don’t worry, it will be artistic (snicker) and not destructive.

Well, it turns out, my prejudices were way off.  Wyoming not only has one of the highest high school graduation rates in the country, but also some of the highest mean SAT scores and is in the top third in average IQ — way higher than California on New York.  Oops, maybe there’s something we’re missing.

Anyway, to sum up, people in Wyoming have horrible fashion sense.

Yes, this is a camouflage tuxedo vest and elastic tie.

When I get to this point in a road trip, with the end in sight, I start having thoughts of quitting my job, getting the Airstream and exploring our great, yet slightly fucked up, continent.  Or maybe some other continent.

Well, enjoy this blurry, tiny picture of us checking out an insanely sexy Mormon checking out [of the hotel]:  We like girls who wear vests.

Beer is good.   We’ve had a lot of beer this trip, some excellent, so our standards are a little high right now.

We went to Squatter’s Brewpub first, and although some of the beers were pretty average, none were offensive, and two, the Porter and Stout, were excellent. chocolate-ty, barley-laden, thick as mensies.

More beers and hot chicks after the break!

I woke up this morning and said, “I think it’s time for the brown lightning.” I wasn’t talking about the t-shirt.

More beer, less sobriety.

We met Mike and his girlfriend, who may or may not be his baby’s mama.  He has a 5 year-old who plays soccer.  He recommended that we move on to a bar called Green Street if we expected to have our own 5 year old soccer players.

Our first attempt at making soccer babies went poorly.  Note to self: Never, ever, get a tattoo in SLC.

Malcolm is from Togo.  That may be the only place that you have an excuse to come to Salt Lake City from.  He was not a Mormon to the best of our knowledge.

Pool skill gets chicks.  This is a fact.  You hit the white ball, right?

Not long after starting to play pool, we were joined by Jacqueline and Mandy.  Jacqueline had sexy stripper legs, which you may or may not be able to see here.  She was my teammate and distracted Spammer enough so we could win.  Apparently, women think winning is sexy.

Mandy didn’t really look like a monkey, I’m just not a very good photographer, and she was sad to lose so badly.  Spammer’s face seem’s sad, but I think that’s a pool cue in his pocket!

After wearing out our welcome with the pool girls, we looked for greener pastures.  That led us to Jamie and her friend whose name we forgot.  We’ll call her “Rack”.

She seemed more excited to be out of focus in this picture … not suprisingly.

That was enough fun for one night … we have a long day ahead of us … this nice taxi driver from Iraq took us home.  He was divorced from a “Mexican woman” and called himself a “player”.  Sure.

Time for bed, enjoy the shots!

Below are images from just before we left paved road, to an unmapped (by Google) dirt road, Nevada to Utah to Nevada to Utah and then back onto the highway again and into the city limits of Salt Lake City.

Another fine find, Zoo. Excellent roads. Tons of photos after the break:

Zoo almost stepped on a Horny Toad! (LOL..)

And he scampered away…

In Utah, beliefs can make mountains float like clouds…

Elko: Whores, 24-hour access to alcohol and gambling, all-you-can-eat steakhouses.
SLC: Mormans, 24-hour access to group prayer, and all-you-can-marry churches.

We’ll give you some more details on Salt Lake City after we hang out a little tonight …

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Can you say ‘Future Home of Warren Jeffs‘?

Also note the number-of-the-devil / 2.

Mates of State … the husband and wife duo that got us started this morning.

Great friggin’ band.

Verdict: Good coffee, and the cinnamon bun is out of this world, and an apple turnover is yet uneaten, but here are some photos (after the break):

And for those Harley-lovin friends of mine, this is the side wall outside of the Silver Dollar Club:

A perfect, giant-sized pair of filet mignon, and high-heat seared-to-perfection pork chops. And fries on the side. Needless to say, neither of us cleaned out plates. Holy bloat. So, we headed back to the hotel to ride out the food coma and blog.

Apparently, Elko has the highest concentration of Basque in America. Thank you! Dinner was outstanding.

Wednesday night in Elko is neither dead nor hopping. At the suggestion of the gal behind the counter at our hotel, we headed over to G’s for some drinks. What was that noise as we approached? Karaoke. You know it! We had a few brews, sang some songs and enjoyed getting to know the locals better. Friendly people, but kinda stuck… Stuck in circumstances, stuck in beliefs that they will never escape.

Take the glitz and glam on Las Vegas, mix in a rodeo, the Basque, some mexicans and Native Americans (lots of mix blood around here) and you get a really interesting cross-section of cowboy gambling drinking farmer young stuck in the town feeling. Kind of desperate, but resigned. It’s charming if you like gritty (and I do), but as I mentioned in my night shots post, it had a slight edge of danger because a few people had a chip on their shoulder for out of towners.

We popped out heads into three brothels, just to see what it was like. Zoo Broker will be going to Amsterdam shortly.

Now we head off to… (to be posted)

So we took an easy day, ending in Pocatello, to stage for our run … and after hearing only positive things about Elko, we pointed the Hyundai and hit the gas, thinking that we’d have a quick driving day with some fun in Nevada.

Now, as technologically dorky as Spammer and I are, we didn’t pore over Google Earth prior to setting out … we sort of pick roads at random … and what we found along the way was no less than the most amazing road we’ve ever seen.  I’ve road tripped more than 30000 miles in my life, and what we saw today was pristine, awe-inspiring and just a little bit scary.   Check out the pictures, and if you have the chance, get to Jarbidge, NV.

Oh, so there will probably be some drinking and checking-out of the brothels … possibly gambling. Stay tuned.

Anyhoo, Elko is awash in neon from the casinos, bars and brothels. Makes nice light for Spammer to capture with pixels.

Today, we took a side road that cut through Humboldt National Forest. It starts in southern Idaho and ends 40′ish miles north of Elko, NV. It changed my life, and we guess that no more than 10,000 people have ever seen what we saw today.

Gobs of photos after the jump.
 First we drove past the Salmon River Reservoir: 

and on into the Bruneau Desert flats

And then into a jaw-dropping canyon. And I mean CANYON. 

Zoo took a moment to throw a stone…

And then, since I was driving this leg, into the base of the canyon. We drove along at 20 mph, wondering how far it really was to Jarbidge, because we were nearing a half tank of gas… Nothing like a little uncertainty to make you enjoy things more ;)

So we stopped and shot up into the canyon walls a few times. Zoo said, “Fuck Arches! [National Park) And fuck the tourists! This is awesome.” I soooo agree.

After stopping for lunch and gas (what a relief) in Jarbidge (see post) Zoo took the wheel and we drove higher and higher…

When I dreamed of road tripping this time of year, I saw in my mind’s eye the aspen and birches turning yellow… and I got it. Stunning.

And the landscape changed for the third time. Now the mountains were carpeted with scattered trees.

And then the landscape changed yet again, now getting into desert-like conditions with jutting rocks on mountainsides here and there…

And then Hunboldt ended.

The desert became even more desert-like. The mountains squashed down into hills.

We were on private land, and cattle ranches surrounded us… but not much cattle.

And then 5 1/2 hours later, we hit pavement again. Did I mention that it was 95% dirt roads? Yeah, that’s a road trip! 

Dirty Hyundai. Love ya!

See the whole trip as time-lapse

There appear to be three ways into town, all on treacherously winding one lane dirt roads. It looks as if there’s one open eating establishment — another appeared closed. The population: 16 (plus or minus).

This is a town that has seen better days, and although there seem to be some spirit left, I wonder how many towns like this will survive into the next century.

We had lunch at the Outdoor Inn, two great burgers and some good company.  We had tried to get gas, only to find that the gas station owner was having lunch.   We got some suggestions from him and a couple other travellers.  That’s him below.  Can’t you just hear him saying: “Boy, I ain’t seen a shirt that tight on a man since them crazy days of disco!”  By the way, the dog was super friendly, just flea-infested.   I mistakenly threw the dog’s favorite stick in the brambles.  Oops.

more pics:

the cheeseburger

the patty melt

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Can you See Zoo Broker’s profile in this one?

And drove down the mountain to find that industry never stops.

Well, this place was a pretty harsh dive, boring to boot.  At least we got these chips as souvenirs.

My advice?  Unless you like your bikini-wearing women looking like they were recently preggers, move on.

Here is a small gallery of today’s photos:

Montana

Yosemite (west side)

Sign right as you enter Idaho from Montana on Route 20.

A 23-photo pano I stitched looking to the right of the sign above:

Idaho Falls
 

Idaho, lonely and open.

Pulling up, we see they have a sense of humour …

But the steaks? Spammer reports the ribeye was solid, if not up to the standards of Omaha.  I can say that the Prime Rib Au Jus was awesome.  Here’s the obligatory pic:

Mmmm … meat!

I use a program called “GPS Utilities” on my Samsung Blackjack II phone. That records all of the data in a format that Google Maps understands which is called KML.

After my phone records it, I upload it to the website. I modified a version of the Wordpress GeoPress plugin to add the points to any google map. After the road trip is over, I’ll release source code and a tighter integration.

If you click on the blue points, you can see what time we were where with our speed at the time. Spammer has a lead foot.

“Produced Something Astounding”.

Not bad words for my tombstone, now if I could only get someone to say it about me! For sure, this is a wake-up call. This morning I contrasted Spammer’s ACTUAL art production to my own. I said: “People are my canvas” .. which conjures up a better catch phrase: “The Audience Is the Canvas”. Good catch phrase, even though it’s MEANINGLESS.

For fuck’s sake, what I do, although not lacking in skill or imagination, is NOT art. I gotta get on it.

It’s a wonderful feeling, especially when you have no plan as to destination, except for where you might want to be when you go to sleep.

Today we rolled out of Montana into Wyoming, back into Montana and down most of Idaho. On our left were mountains of many varieties – including razortooth, barren to tall, gravelly evergreen covered and massive, piled groupings off in the distance. The landscape went from cool and green to yellowing to farmland. All of it was beautiful in it’s own way.

One thing that amazes me is that when ask people if they like where they are living, it’s mostly “no” and a rolling of the eyes. Omaha was the exception. Why? Wishing for escape? I see a lot of people loading themselves with wishes to not be someplace and not doing anything about it. Or, perhaps, not trusting themselves to make good decisions and act on them. Another possibility is that they are so focused on what they don’t like that they are not thinking about what they do like. An absence of being grateful, if you will.

I’ve learned that knowledge and experience is best reinforced by comparison. Zoo and I have talked about this at length as the miles rolled by… An ideal example is me writing about being grateful to know so much more of America. Out of all the states we have visited, I have only been to Colorado. Now I have firsthand experience in so much more of America, and having a social lubricant in the form of Zoo Broker along only makes the experience richer.

America is large and diverse in many respects. If you live here, do yourself a favor and take the time to explore it.

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We met this character in Idaho Falls, Idaho. He had the most adorable puppy / finger-biter … we talked about ligers and the problem of wolves eating livestock and wild elk and such. Apparently a big problem.

He introduced himself as “Cowboy Jim”. So does that make “Cowboy” his first name?

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This first shot is 6 minutes @ 400 ISO, f/4. Milky Way behind star arcs:

Next off we have Zoo Broker and the horizon:

And then me with the horizon:

And then we pulled out some Kung Fu to finish off the cold (and warm up):

(I won…)

Last three shots were 10 min @ ISO 400, f/4. Can’t wait for tomorrow night!

Day 1: Nikon D700 with MC-32 MC-36 (thanks, Gabe!) Remote Release set to 0:18 second intervals and jpg quality. I set up the tripod in the back seat and zoomed out to 120mm to shoot through our windshield. Fortunately, this was also the day we willed nealry 8,000 inects with the Hyundai.

Back in the hotel after dinner, I imported them into iStopMotion in NTSC space (could have gone HD… but naw) at 4 frames per second. Export, upload to Vimeo and share!

Day 2: Somewhere along the way, we realized the JPG quality was set to large – not necessary. Made the import the night before much too long. So, now set to the smallest jpg, we could record 7,500 image if we wanted. What do we do? Increase the frequency, of course. So, at an interval of 0:05 seconds, we captured throughout the day… Until both batteries on the D700 died (I forgot to turn off the one setting on the body that told it not to engage the autofocus – the lens was on manual focus). Canon G9 to the rescue! Popped that bad boy on a tripod in front of me in the front seat on Time lapse movie mode and 1 second intervals and that got us all the way into Rapid City.

Processing was interesting. Same deal as yesterday, but with 4,500 images from the Nikon – import and export at 15 frames a second this time. Now import this file into Final Cut Pro HD in NTSC space, plus the four movie clips form the Canon. Put ‘em all in the timeline, hit export and head out for some night shooting. Came back later, uploaded to Vimeo, let that process overnight (upload too 24 minutes), and embed here on the site this morning.

Day 3 (Today): Figured that it was far easier to record a movie file instead of thousands of little JPGs. So, we are running the G9 all day. First half battery ran out twice (forgot to charge it last night, and a 25 minute charge at lunch did not cut it). So we bought an AC 100V invertors and ran the Nikon again in the middle fo the day on 0:10 second intervals, and now back to the Canon at 2 second intervals.

We’re rolling through Sheridan, Wyoming right now on Interstate 90 and I’m typing this up so we can have more fun time tonight instead of blogging time. :) What a beautiful Sunset.

–SpamzZalot

6:21 PM mountain time

“Rapid” … hrmpff.

… the ‘Crazy’ part might have been unnecessary.

So we were pretty pleased when our redhead (#4) waitress dropped these delicious burgers in front of us.

And apparently the words out:  The folks below came all the way from Isreal to eat at Dotty’s!!!  Not really, they’re on a long honeymoon roadtrip.  Guys, don’t you know you take the road trip BEFORE marriage to make sure you can stand each other? Anyway, that’s Asaf and (I’m sorry, I can’t remember his wife’s name!).  They’ll be dropping by San Francisco around Halloween.

But the most memorable thing?  The back of Asaf’s shirt:

Sure enough, this is made by two Spanish felons who started printing up t-shirts in Jail.   We think the name was Puta Madre … but I can’t find a canonical source it on the web.  Asaf, help us out with some information!

You may not know, But I am a descendant of Custer. Yes, that Custer. So, knowing I’d be near the National Park by his name, we thought we’d drop by so I could pay my respects. The town of Custer, SD is tiny, with about 3,000 residents. “Imagine being a student at school there,” remarked Zoo. “We’re going to massacre you!”

Mauvais goux, but true, I assume. Have to say the National Park was breathtaking. Windy roads and (a few) buffalo. The Black Hills are truly wonderful. Visit if you can.

We also visited Crazy Horse – amazing to see something that will rival Mt. Rushmore in progress. Ten more years and the horse’s head will be done. 100 years and the whole thing will be done.

At the Rapid City based School of Mining and Technology, there are a group of people who are build miniature flying vehicles with “AI” that are basically designed for tasks like killing Osama Bin Laden. Okay, so they haven’t mounted any weapons on these babies yet (a la Terminator), but the days where the robots we invent come to kill us are just a little bit closer.

That’s Mason on the far right in the future-unabomber hoodie.  Mason, if you’re out there and you want to put your mad scientist skills to good, let us know!

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First off, we ate at the Firehouse Brewing Company and Michelle served up delicious Chicked Fried Steak for Zoo and a beef chimichanga for me. Spicy, good. I had the Beaver Brown Ale, which was soooooo good after a day on the road.

So, after some serious processing of the GPS data and time-lapse movie stuff, we split up.

Zoo went to the bar for “just one drink” and I headed out for some night photography around Rapid City.

Right off the bat, I met a friendly group of guys who wondered aloud why I was taking a photograph of an alley. Nice guys, except for the one who constantly was trying to get me to take pictures of his ass. Anyhoo, I got this awesome shot with Cowboy Jesus Christ in Art Alley.

So, I took a stroll around the block. Really, this was only one loop around the block. I totally enjoyed myself shooting at night in Rapid City. Interesting people, and a great variety of business, art and small-town emptiness. It was Sunday night, after all.

I believe there were three bridal shops in one block. Hmmm. That matches that we met two engaged gals in less than 24 hours, and were not in large crowds. But 3 bridal shops in one square block? Wow. The mannequins were awesome, though. Thanks for not moving.

There was an alley running behind the hotel, cutting the block in half that had a sign at each end labeled, “Art Alley”. There were so many tags and street art on the walls and dumpsters. Some amazing work, too. You can see the sign atop this image that was on top of our hotel.

And then there was the Brass Rail – open 2nd latest on a Sunday night. A gal came out as I was shooting, curious as to what I was doing. “Just on a road trip, taking pictures.” “OK – was just curious.” Maybe she thought I was a tweaker. In fact, there was one sleeping in the alcove just to the right (or I assume so – it seems like meth would be easy to find in Rapid City).

So, around the corner and back to the hotel for this HDR-combined shot of our hotel. That’s another story… A couple go tout of their car and asked if I was taking pictures of ghosts. LOLz.

Apparently, this hotel is famous for many things, including having presidents stay over. In fact, John McCain just rented out the whole place during Sturgis and pissed off a lot of people. I think we stayed in his room (and it smelled like dead bodies).

There is also the matter of apparently, this hotel is haunted. Alfred HItchcock stayed in one of the haunted rooms, and the Betsy, Sara and Darwin at the hotel were so helpful and fun. Sara let me into the AJ Ballroom on the second floor:

And here is what the main reception area looks like:

All in all, the hotel was alright.  I’d give it 3 stars if they hadn’t sent us to an occupied room.  Service was friendly .. especially Darwin, Betsy and Sara.

Here are four photos as a sampler of how incredibly mind-blowingly beautiful the Badlands Park is…

We did not stop, but we were exposed to a Wall Drug billboard from the east side of South Dakota all the way to the west side. And even after leaving Wall, there one more billboard reminding you you had one more chance to visit Wall Drug!

Anyhoo, it got me to thinking. Thinking about how they had small, carefully crafted billboards with one topic on them. Kinda like Google AdWords. No joke. They were the visual equivalent of spam. Constant interruption from the flowing flatlands of South Dakota. But, like much interruptive advertising, there was one or two billboards that spoke to me. Not enough to make me want to stop after ALL THAT WAITING to see what Wall Drug was about. DInner and beer won. No tchotchkes could stop the mouth-watering I wanna beer feeling. Too bad.

But it did raise the question. Actually, Zoo asked me how many people stop because of it. I said that was the wrong question. The right question is how many more people stop than if there was no advertising? Zoo said that’s what he meant. I said that’s not what you said, though… He acquiesced, so I win. The point being that we guess that they get 10x more visitors simply by awareness of their business. But 1-5 impressions is not enough. I am guessing, but there are probably over 80 billboards in the state for Wall Drug. Wuh… Hurts me, left me laughing and thinking. They win. Except I did not buy anything – I am just telling other people about it ;)

Gotta go make the time-lapse movie of our trip today. See you in a bar, or the comments section here on the site posts.

– SpamZalot

– END COMMUNICATION WITH JESUS –

Folks, the last two days, we traveled through parts of the country where signs like “Jesus Died For Your Sins” or “The Wages of Sin Is Death” [sic] are commonplace, and the most subversive grafitti we found was “Jesus Lives”.

After reading both God Is Not Great and, more recently, The God Delusion, it’s tempting to go on a rant — it would probably follow these lines:   Your lives suck, and instead of doing something about YOURSELF, you pray to God?  At least you don’t live in a blue state.

… I’m just too tired to get self-righteous right now.

Note to spammer: Opportunity to help the Church out with Viral Marketing?

Hopefully God Doesn't Mark Off For Grammer

And I did not hurl last night, plus I exceeded the poll variables.

And then headed out to the bar after dinner …

And Zoo and I met Lauren, Amy and Lauren at Billy Frog’s …

… the coolest bar open in Omaha on this Saturday night.

Where minors are not allowed…

A typical response to the Zoo Broker’s pickup lines…

Then shots were had..

… and good times followed …

The big guns were brought out…

And the age was verified…

Things could be worse…

“I swear her ID said 21…”

So Spammer left it to chance and played pin the tail on the map. We headed west.

I’ve been to Omaha a few times in my life, for work (the Henry Doorly Zoo is a big customer), and I’ve had some incredible fun here, between seeing Bright Eyes at the Sokol Underground and the seemingly endless stream of Creighton lasses …

But I’m skipping ahead (you can too and just watch the timelapse below). We headed out of Denver, and Spammer realizes that he hasn’t added me as a driver to the rental car. Oops. Next rental location? Lincoln, Nebraska, 500 miles away. Oops. We’re not turning back. This is a road trip. There’s no crying in road trips. There’s just Spammer driving almost 600 miles by his lonesome.

I did try my hand at riding the local fauna but before you know it, we’ve crossed the border into the plains …

There’s so much more to say, but we’re under the gun and there’s a bachelorette with my name written all over her.

Things to cover:

• Upstream Brewing Company, our awesomely cool waitress JerriBerri and the super tasty ribeyes!
• What happens tonight!

Here’s the driving vid:

Denver to Omaha in Four Minutes from Sir Arthur SpamZalot on Vimeo.

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This is what we listened to today:

• the Pillows
• TV on the Radio
• Two Gallants
• Tilly and the Wall
• Nine Inch Nails
• Peter and the Wolf
• the Privates
• the Punch Brothers
• Okkervil River
• Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
• Johnathan Rice
• Sunset Rubdown
• Wolf Parade
• Billy Bragg
• Blitzen Trapper
• Man Man
• Mates of State
• Pink Nasty
• Mirah
• the White Stripes
• 2Pac & Biggie
• Rod Stewart
• the Red Hot Chili Peppers
• Neutral Milk Hotel
• Flipsyde
• Falco (Rock Me Amadeus) [seriously]
• Bon Jovi  [less seriously]
• the Eels
• Old Crow Medicine Show
• Rilo Kiley
• Social Distortion
• the Yeah Yeah Yeahs
• Radiohead
• Tom Waits
• Zero7
• the Kinks
• the Flaming Lips
• Sufjan Stevens
• Grizzly Bear
• Led Zeppelin
• Phish [ugh]
• Marco Mahler
• Norah Jones
• Citizen Cope
• Air
• Peter Gabriel
• Alexi Murdoch

So excited! And it’s a gorgeous day.

View Larger Map

This morning I was mildly shocked to see the shower has two heads. Symbolism? Or was Speed Racer being the in flight movie and then me getting pulled over 1 block shy of the hotel? ( no ticket )?

Morning wakeup is to Beck’s “Modern Guilt” looking forward to seeing him and MGMT in October.

Or even better yet, “why are you taking pictures?”

I am a photographer.

Puzzled states, sudden disinterest, LOL. One nice guy actually struck up a conversation and informed me that Denver is where all the single people want to be. Swell! I fit right in :)

Anyhoo, don’t want to splurge for hotel Internet, so I will post night shots from the Nikon soon.

– SpamZalot

EDIT: After a dinner discussion tonight, Zoo reminded me that my life was in no danger whatsoever that evening. I now concur, and agree I was too drunk to remember clearly. Consider it revisionist history.