sleepy bye-byes

We ended up hanging with a birthday party.   I’m going to pretend to not remember the rest:

They’re awesome. I’d link you to some music of theirs, but I believe in your Google skills.

Yes, they have a bearded brown drummer. I thought I’d cornered the market on that shit, but alas, no.

Humidity fogged Matt’s lens … Voodoo fountain – fire and water.

Pat O’Brien’s is famous for its Hurricane … a fruity concoction of rum, passion fruit, grenadine, lemon and lime … You’ll never catch me outside of NOLA with one of these, but damn, they’re good.

We ran into Charity and Drew, and I inadvertently smacked Drew in the head while gesticulating wildly … oops. Drew was interviewing to teach Social Studies, but lives in Portland. Charity lives in Baton Rouge and came down special to see Drew … I sensed passion brewing and tried to work the wingman magic …

What you won’t see below is exactly how far Drew got with Charity. You will not of pictures of them making out. You will not see pictures of Charity flashing the bar, and motorboating the shit outta Drew. You will definitely not see a picture of them walking out hand in hand.

Oh, and we got burgers … Matt’s was Peanut Butter and Bacon. Really. Apparently did not suck, cuz it disappeared in about 32 seconds.

Ted the bartender flashing his gang signs … great guy, great drinks, destroyed us in quarters … he’s a shark.

Above, for our last stop, we ran into Carl at Molly’s at the Market .. after 12 shots of rum, 1 shot of jamesons, a shot of tequila and a pimm’s cup, it got a little hazy …

It looks like the oil’s gonna hit tomorrow …

Anyway, we did the obligatory sparkler writing, followed by Matt’s fire dancing, and finally decided to appease the natives and set me on fire with 30 feet of fuse … check out the pics below!

Well, I do say, Dr. Suess + William Shakespeare FTW.

When this is the sign for the bar you’re walking in, you’ve done it right.

When this many fake ID’s have been confiscated, there’s bound to be some jailbait around … thank you gods of the road trip!

We met Caitlynn (above) at the bar, which was well tended by TJ (below) … Caitlynn had some spectacular freckles …

A pretty reasonable cover band (wish we knew their name) gave us some tunes … notably a passable cover of Radiohead’s “Weird Fishes / Arpeggi”.

Laughing + Smoking …

And then, no surprise how the night ended …

A little time on Yelp yielded this walking-distance meatariffic gem of an establishment.

Um, it’s bawls hot here and 9,000% humidity. “Walking distance” is relative and this was the limit, albeit worth it ;)

Popular, $2 domestic beers, $3 Margaritas. Say no more.

Zoo pays homage to the meat prior to digging in. Right after this, he bet me who could eat the most (we both got the same platter).

I winked for the love of barbecued meat.

“Platter” 2010, Giclee Print available for $400

“Sides” 2010, Giclee Print available, $350

I housed him, but he later mentions this whole “pound for pound, I beat you” bullshit line.

“Forlorn Pig” 2010, Giclee Print available on demand for BBQ trade.

Forget the whole “truth, lies, statistics” b.s. I’m not trying to simplify the world just cuz I can’t comprehend or don’t appreciate its complexity. But numbers, simple or not, can provide insight into what we’re dealing with.

Anyway, this is what I was thinking yesterday … when I tell people I’m going on 18 day road trip .. they’re generally like “cool, I wish I could go on a road trip, where ya goin’?”.

Me: “All over the south. Fort Smith, Arkansas. Mobile, Alabama. Lexington, Kentucky. Places like that.”

Them: “Durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Lexington?”

So this is what I’ve come up with:

If you’re in the big red circle, I don’t want to ever, ever talk to you. I realize that’s not a great Venn diagram, but suck it. What I’m trying to say is, if you only want to visit the “cool” cities (e.g., NY, LA, Miami, Chicago, Vancouver) you’re barely travelling. If you haven’t already figured it out, travelling is a state of mind, and most of the world’s reknowned cities are basically the same place … the cool shit exists in the margins.

Anyway, I’m gonna go data heavy this trip … jst cuz.

She did me the great honor of allowing me a dance:

For those just joining us, these are your wedding crashers du jour …

Phaux in the ‘Always Slimming All Black’:

Zoobroker in the trey:

So, we’re here. Here’s the happy couple …

Tons of pictures after the break

Mara, Mom & Dad

7 fifths of the wedding party.

The groomsmen (in sandals)

The Kiss

Gorgeous …

The Bagpiper

Dodging Rice

Off They Go!

We started a mini road trip today, we’re going to call this RT4.333 for the moment …  we’d planned to go from NYC to Toronto (AKA TorTonto) to Detroit To Glen Arbor, but someone, who shall not be named here, lost his passport, so we made a detour this morning and headed towards Pittsburgh.

Turns, out there’s a little town called Bellefonte on the way to Pittsburgh if you take Route 80.  Bellefonte may or may not be where a certain roadtripper’s girlfriend hails from.  First stop: the American Legion .. this fella’s got a big gun.   I’m sure veterans in this town wouldn’t appreciate my fondling, but hey, whatever.

We may or may not have stopped at a certain Bald Eagle High School.

We may or may not have filled a certain superintendent’s truck’s door handles with Beef Jerky.

Anyway, we’ve just arrived in Cleveland and are cleaning up.  It’s happy hour … so later!

First off, Zoo is a GREAT road mate. Words cannot express his huge contribution to the road trips being extraordinary, but I’ll give it a shot..

He is unflinching about being alive and living life his way. I have great respect for him, even when I disagree. His travel is experience is deep, so having him along adds a layer of comfort, especially when he says, “Can we drive down on that iced over river?”  (unnamed rental car company, please do not read this). His encouragement of me and other people to go outside their boundaries and live a little makes life interesting and fun. There’s so much more, but my point is sincerely that I appreciate you, Zoo. Thanks for the miles and the smiles, dude.

Places
#1 Portland
#2 Banff 
#3 Vancouver 

I could move to Portland tomorrow and be a very happy man. I will visit Banff many times in the future. And Vancouver is a damn cool city.

Highlights
Kennedy School – just plain awesome
The Doug Fir and Rontoms are great bars with fun people. Always wanted to drink at the Doug Fir and I learned that the Indie Music scene in Portland is great at Rontoms.
My beautiful skull
Banff, the beautiful
Best Road
Biggest Unanswered Question
Whistler Village, BC

Panoramas

Favorite People Photo
 

Best Breakfast – Voula’s (Sorry, Portland!)
Best Lunch – St. James Gate Gangers and Mash
Best Dinner – Tie between Slo Bar (burger) in Portland and Grizzly House (fondue) in Banff

Growth
Every single road trip we make includes opportunities taken to plant seeds, leave room for gestation and let the new rear its head. On this trip, I was a lot more emotionally stable than prior trips, so instead my personal growth included being a bit more “one of the guys.” My life prior to this didn’t really have opportunity to ever be a wingman, play in bars, flirt outrageously, etc. It was a fairly “normal” path towards the American Dream of having the house, marriage and kids. Now I am living a new bachelor life and finding out that not only do I like being alone, but I also like learning more about what I may like in a relationship with each new gal with whom I spend a little time.

The result? I still believe in love and fidelity in a committed relationship. But it’s not something I’ll die over if I don’t get it now… In the meantime I’m having fun.

As for Zoo, I know he had his own thoughts gestating during the trip. I won’t presume to comment on them, but I do think they are going to stay underground for some more nutrients and water in the dark.

On another topic, I have some more thoughts about authenticity. It is a slight paradox that I choose to use a pseudonym on this site, but firmly believe in transparency and authenticity. This is brought into relief by one of Zoo’s posts where during that evening I gave out personal information, but not info about this site. It turned out for the best, because the fun-poking from Zoo could be hurtful should the site be found. Nothing terrible, just not entirely nice. And here is the crux of the matter… What Zoo posts is not my responsibility, but I do share the site with him. Do I reveal what he posts by revealing the site, or do I let it pass? That question lies unanswered at present. So I also have something that needs more time to grow before I can make a decision.

It’s also apparent that I am still learning the fine art (snicker) of being a wingman. It’s foreign to me, and my beliefs. In parallel, I also believe that it’s far easier to condemn something without every trying it. Greater understanding comes with experience. Easier said, I’ll try anything once. In this case, if everyone is out to have a good time then it’s a part of the “game.” My gut feeling is that I am far too sincere to be a wingman. ;)

Compare to before RT4

Biggest personal disappointment: Ummm… being a little naive about ’signals’

2nd biggest personal disappointment: Not actually engaging in deliberate Sentography, only holistic.

Biggest personal success: Frankly, enjoying myself with unfamiliar women on short notice. I’ve been removed from that world for a long time… I usually work into relationships over a long period of time. Bars and dating are almost a foreign language to me.

Wrapup
Every road trip is a potent reminder that we have to choose to enjoy our days, not wait for enjoyment to find you. Make the things you want happen, but don’t expect to be able to plan every road between here and what you want, leave that to chance – it’s more fun that way.

And finally, get yourself a mohawk. It’s the tits.

Shortly after arriving, three blondes from Seattle engaged us.  Cathleen and Kelsey are pictured below.

Kelsey wanted to look tough, but I explained to her that the back-of-arm-jiggly stuff was not intimidating.

Of course, hilarity ensues.  But not before I point out her little pea-sized head.

We retreated to the warm fire outside … where we met a musician who was actually rejected from playing at the Hotel Utah.  We will not be mentioning any names here, as she is not worthy.

Phaux snaps some shots of the lovely interior …

There I am below on the right.  

These girls were obnoxiously not funny or interesting, although they were cute.

Okay, now that we have all the blondes in the picture below, I’ll explain … Shelly (the way too fake-and-bake on the far left) was on her way up to Vancouver.  At the border, the Canadian Border Patrol / RCMP denied Shelly access to their wonderful country.  She claimed it was because she had been convicted of a DUI a couple years prior.  Her friends told me that it was because she exceeded the Canadian limits on peroxide and bronzer.  Anyway, they decided to go to Portland instead and have a “Fuck Canada” party.  Then walks in this poor soul with a Canada t-shirt, who proceeded to get molested by the girls.  I guess they really did want to fuck Canada.

The hipster shows her ink.  Babe, if you don’t do some toning exercises, in a few years, that guy is going to be tall and fat.  

Notice the ghostly paleness of the crowd here.  Portland gets approximately 4 days of sun each year, and residents are advised to stay indoors. 

We like cleavage.  Everyone in our corner of the bar was staring at this girl’s tata’s …

Why I wore these retardo glasses, I’m not sure. 

Phaux takes a picture of the girl taking a picture … he says he loves the natural light, but I think he was going for an upskirt shot.

We played throw the butt in the ashtray … it took me two tries.   Soy el campion del mundo!!!!!!!

Sisters: 

Me trying to perform ear-o-lingus.  It didn’t work.   But I got thrush in my ear.

Acrylic moose head.  ’Nuff said.

More bar shots to close this out …

1) We choose what we publish.
2) We respect other people, but sincerely desire that you all take a moment to push aside the veil and see what not allowing others’ beliefs to form yours is freedom.

Without further adieu, here is the post edited to allow people to remain in their own personal comfort zone, with their bad hair and d-bag boyfriends.

Kamloops is not the most picturesque town in Canada (see bottom picture). It’s not even in the top 50. It’s surrounded by great geographical beauty, tho. Anyway, we wandered around town for a few minutes (more on this tomorrow), and ended up at Frick and Frack’s, a sort of world-cuisine take on TGIFs, with a huge beer list. Phaux didn’t take too any pictures of the food or the beer, because we were a little too enthralled with the bartender, previously shown above reclining on her bar.

After that picture, you might get the wrong idea when I said I enjoyed eating at the bar. People, get your minds out of the gutter

Phaux, how could you not get a picture of her skirt??!?

So while were were there, we stopped at a Toronto legend, Rodney’s Oyster House.  It was way out of the way, it felt like it was almost in North York.  Who knows.  I just remembered the fried clams, delicious oysters, and the hot dog.  Yes, I had a hot dog at an oyster house.  Don’t ask.  Since then, I’d been back to Tortonto many times — most spectaculary during the SARS quarantine, blaster virus, and northeast blackout, but I never made it back to Rodney’s.

Today, walking around the corner from our Yaletown hotel,  I spotted the classic Rodney’s sign.  Of course, that’s where we’re eating.  Yum.

Photos below, but in short:

Oysters: Yes. Chowder: Yes.  Bread Yes:  Oysters Rockefeller: Maybe. Garlic Shrimp: No. Cougars: Yes.  The place is a bonafide cougar den.  Enjoy.

Voula’s is in a part of town that someone said was the University District, but it seemed more like folks working the the marine industries, no university in sight. This is just a perfect greasy spoon. Simple, hearty, and famous for a dish called “the Hobo”, which is a mess of hash browns, eggs, sausage, peppers, mushrooms, onions, topped with cheddar cheese. It was awesome, but a couple more of those and there goes the boyish figure.

What was funny is that this place was featured on the Food Network’s road trip show, “Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives” … out of all the breakfast places we could have ended up at.

Definitely worth the stop, and maybe another on our way out.

View Larger Map

On my way to see TV on the Radio last night, I dropped by Bonita at 338 Bedford Ave in Brooklyn, NY for a little pre-show eats. Ho-lee yum.

I went for the gusto and the Michelada to drink. I won’t reveal EVERYthing that’s in it, but here is the gist: Ice, tabasco, lime and beer – with a salted rim. It is heaven, after you get over the shock of having ice and tabasco in your beer. As the waitress who indoctrinated me said, “it’s an obsession that’s hard to escape.” 

For dinner, carnitas: pork shank confit, chile de arbol salsa. I was on the phone with DJ when I basted it with the topping my buddy behind the bar pointed at… what I didn’t hear him say was, “watch out, gringo, this is fucking hot.” So I barely tasted the first carnita and had to get off the phone and go tap the fire hydrant outside to put out the flames.

Wiping my brow, I tried some milder toppings and sank into caloric heaven Delicious – and illustrated (two missing)

From the myriad of people we met on the road, to our friends, fans and family back home, thank you all.

We’ll be posting more very interesting stuff we just didn’t have time to pull of while on the road in the next week or so, so keep checking. Plus, a super-secret special opportunity of a lifetime.

Social spamming was hella fun.

Taking – no – MAKING time to have a road trip with Zoo Broker was one of the best decisions I have made this year, and let me tell you folks, it’s been a year for decisions. I so very enjoyed myself that it is hard to clearly explain. Perhaps all of the posts we made for you (well, for us really) will, in total, represent an experience that mirrors my path in life. Deliberately unplanned, but pursued with enthusiastic vigor.

Full entry after the jump.

If you take a peek at my opening musings, you’ll find that I put forth some goals for the trip. Let’s see how I did:

• Uncertain destinations (YES)
• Lots of photo-ops (YES)
• Some ridiculously inebrious evenings (YES)
• Perhaps double mileage versus previous trips (3,200 miles)
• Meaningful, probing conversation (YES, IN PLENITUDES)
• Insights (YES, WILL EXPAND ON THIS)
• Glee (YES)
• New people with interesting stories weaving into ours (YES, SEE BLOG)
• Potentially embarrassing moments (YES, SOME NOT SHARED WITH THE PUBLIC)
• Incredible discoveries only found via an open mind and no agenda (YES, SEE HERE & HERE)
• Deep, satisfying exhaustion (YES, TOOK A NAP YESTERDAY)

Do you achieve all your goals? I am not mystified at all that I did. I chose my priorities and focused on them. Everything else fell into place alongside this journey because I have learned (and practice) that you have to focus on the things you can control, and let everything else take care of itself.

Here is the wonderful part… Now I get to set NEW goals. Yes, exciting! I do already have some big plans involving some art, and am ready to jump on that immediately, as well as getting back to a healthy diet (big wink).

As for Zoo Broker, he has been the finest friend I could ask for. Exciting, sharing, generous, thoughtful, encouraging, brazen, inspiring and made me laugh until I cried more than a few times.

Let me share some insights that found me while on this epic journey.

People are generally the same, no matter where you go. To be specific, there are so many indiviual people with different goals and dreams (or dreads), that an generality by region is impossible. Each person you meet is full of potential. Some are more exceptional, and I think this is because they also have a keen interest in life.

America is diverse and wonderful. From the seediest piss-smelling alleys to the majestic and barren desert mountain ranges, it is a composition of amazing things. I love it all. Juxtaposition is the key. I recently went to an Edward Tufte seminar and he states that presenting data without comparison is a meager meal. In this case, seeing the smallest of towns (population 16) to the big metropolises, the plains to the Rockies, the desert to the forest gave me a grand scale for comparison. It’s within these differences that lie the opportunity for gratitude, and I am very grateful to have learned more about my country.

I knew this already, but it has been reinforced during this trip: If you do not make time to do the things you love, you may never do them. Just change your priorities.

Being selfish is not a bad thing. After all, who is more important in this world than yourself? I had an interesting conversation with a mostly drunk architect last night and brought up my favorite question (for architects), “Have you read THE FOUNDTAINHEAD?” LOLz, it realy gets some of them going. I see that book as having lots of people acting on the beliefs surrounding “being selfish”. Exercising your personal right to choose happiness for yourself before choosing it for other people is what I choose. In general, America sees selfish as a very negative word. I do not. I will always choose my happiness first. This does, however, go hand in hand with the belief that I treat the world as I want to be treated. That is harmony.

Doing unplanned things is one of the best ways to learn something you do not know. It sounds so obvious, but you won’t know what Imean until you do it. Why re-learn things you know? Life is toooooo short.

Take the time to tell other people that you like your life. It helps the world become a better place when people know that happiness is out there…

As Zoo Broker repeatedly says, “the opportunity never taken is something that will never happen. It’s always better to do it, than not do it.” You only get one chance (that we know of) here and now. Do something you like with it.

–SpamZalot

Spammer calls me an “instigator” — that I like to “remind people that they are alive”. Well, these past 10 days have reminded me that I was still alive, that there are things to do — maybe not things of great import – but at least to find some excuse or basic justification for my continued existence. It’s reminded me that the value of comfort — the easy life – it pales in comparison to the value of adventure and challenge.

I’m looking forward to hitting the ground running when I get back to San Francisco – whether it’s to get started on my projects, breaking out the new drums and finishing our Road Trip song, or just causing general havoc.

Part 2 (Almost Ranting) to come tomorrow …

Last night out… It was rainy early on as we headed to dinner, and just plain wet when we were done. Note to all: New cowboy boots are slippery onwet stone block (and 16th street is ALL paving blocks!)

Tons of photos after the jump.

Tonight, Zoo Broker and I ate at Appaloosa. We heard from a certain source that someone we met 1 1/2 years ago here in Denver was working there… It turns out that yes, this certain someone works here, but worked the lunch shift. Alas… what were we to do but enjoy ourselves anyway? Deets after the break.

First off, some Queso Dip and I had a really spicy and good Chicken Lasagna.

I had my first (and second) pint of White Rascal – a Belgian-style white beer made in Boulder. Damn fine beer.

Next up we had a neighbor that Zoo realllllllllly liked.

Than the Clam Addys took the stage

Do yerself a favor if you’re in town and they are playing – go see them. Great singer, harmoica player… Aw, heck they’re all fantastic.

Good bar, good times. Thanks, Denver!

The Blake Street Vault is one of those places that just got it right.  The owners, who have owned 14 bars previously, overlooked no details in putting this place together.   After finishing dinner across the street, we spotted the beautiful lighting and just walked into what was to become a fantastic evening.

More pictures and commentary after the break …

These are the owners, Carol and Jim.  Wonderful people with a great story and a great bar.

After a few massive chalice-sized beers, Carol invited us to taste whiskey.  The owners went down to the Jack Daniel’s Distillery and selected a barrel of “Single Barrel”, a super-fine whiskey, individually crafted, signed, which produces 240 bottles, which are labeled with the owner’s name and bar.  Carol allowed us to taste the Single Barrel along side the standard #7 and Gentleman Jack.  I think it speaks to our palattes that Spammer and myself both preferred the standard #7 … but it was a great experience. Carol gave us the whole history of the Single Barrel and even more.  We love people who are enthusiastic about their trade.

This is a shot of the bar from above.  It’s only been open for 5 weeks, so there was still room to move.  Expect that to change.

We did miss a clear picture of the custom-installed and absoutely gorgeous tin ceiling.    You can just make it out above, but it’s one of the many touches that the Blake Street Vault employs to make it one of the most beautiful bars that I’ve seen.

We didn’t get to taste the food, but if the passion and attention to detail that we saw in other aspects of this place are put into dining as well, I have a feeling we will be eating a lot of meals here in the future.

“cheyenne”  – spelled wrong.

“spam”

“zoobroker”:

We had no side trips today, except for a little celebration we’ll post separately. So, this is a small collection of photos that can be taken from Route 80. I gotta say, I had no idea that Wyoming had such diverse terrain, and a humongous canyon (that we did not visit – we would have missed our steaks tonight!)

So, without further ado… photos after the break:

Can you say ‘Future Home of Warren Jeffs‘?

Also note the number-of-the-devil / 2.

A perfect, giant-sized pair of filet mignon, and high-heat seared-to-perfection pork chops. And fries on the side. Needless to say, neither of us cleaned out plates. Holy bloat. So, we headed back to the hotel to ride out the food coma and blog.

Apparently, Elko has the highest concentration of Basque in America. Thank you! Dinner was outstanding.

Wednesday night in Elko is neither dead nor hopping. At the suggestion of the gal behind the counter at our hotel, we headed over to G’s for some drinks. What was that noise as we approached? Karaoke. You know it! We had a few brews, sang some songs and enjoyed getting to know the locals better. Friendly people, but kinda stuck… Stuck in circumstances, stuck in beliefs that they will never escape.

Take the glitz and glam on Las Vegas, mix in a rodeo, the Basque, some mexicans and Native Americans (lots of mix blood around here) and you get a really interesting cross-section of cowboy gambling drinking farmer young stuck in the town feeling. Kind of desperate, but resigned. It’s charming if you like gritty (and I do), but as I mentioned in my night shots post, it had a slight edge of danger because a few people had a chip on their shoulder for out of towners.

We popped out heads into three brothels, just to see what it was like. Zoo Broker will be going to Amsterdam shortly.

Now we head off to… (to be posted)

Today, we took a side road that cut through Humboldt National Forest. It starts in southern Idaho and ends 40′ish miles north of Elko, NV. It changed my life, and we guess that no more than 10,000 people have ever seen what we saw today.

Gobs of photos after the jump.
 First we drove past the Salmon River Reservoir: 

and on into the Bruneau Desert flats

And then into a jaw-dropping canyon. And I mean CANYON. 

Zoo took a moment to throw a stone…

And then, since I was driving this leg, into the base of the canyon. We drove along at 20 mph, wondering how far it really was to Jarbidge, because we were nearing a half tank of gas… Nothing like a little uncertainty to make you enjoy things more ;)

So we stopped and shot up into the canyon walls a few times. Zoo said, “Fuck Arches! [National Park) And fuck the tourists! This is awesome.” I soooo agree.

After stopping for lunch and gas (what a relief) in Jarbidge (see post) Zoo took the wheel and we drove higher and higher…

When I dreamed of road tripping this time of year, I saw in my mind’s eye the aspen and birches turning yellow… and I got it. Stunning.

And the landscape changed for the third time. Now the mountains were carpeted with scattered trees.

And then the landscape changed yet again, now getting into desert-like conditions with jutting rocks on mountainsides here and there…

And then Hunboldt ended.

The desert became even more desert-like. The mountains squashed down into hills.

We were on private land, and cattle ranches surrounded us… but not much cattle.

And then 5 1/2 hours later, we hit pavement again. Did I mention that it was 95% dirt roads? Yeah, that’s a road trip! 

Dirty Hyundai. Love ya!

See the whole trip as time-lapse

“Produced Something Astounding”.

Not bad words for my tombstone, now if I could only get someone to say it about me! For sure, this is a wake-up call. This morning I contrasted Spammer’s ACTUAL art production to my own. I said: “People are my canvas” .. which conjures up a better catch phrase: “The Audience Is the Canvas”. Good catch phrase, even though it’s MEANINGLESS.

For fuck’s sake, what I do, although not lacking in skill or imagination, is NOT art. I gotta get on it.

Day 1: Nikon D700 with MC-32 MC-36 (thanks, Gabe!) Remote Release set to 0:18 second intervals and jpg quality. I set up the tripod in the back seat and zoomed out to 120mm to shoot through our windshield. Fortunately, this was also the day we willed nealry 8,000 inects with the Hyundai.

Back in the hotel after dinner, I imported them into iStopMotion in NTSC space (could have gone HD… but naw) at 4 frames per second. Export, upload to Vimeo and share!

Day 2: Somewhere along the way, we realized the JPG quality was set to large – not necessary. Made the import the night before much too long. So, now set to the smallest jpg, we could record 7,500 image if we wanted. What do we do? Increase the frequency, of course. So, at an interval of 0:05 seconds, we captured throughout the day… Until both batteries on the D700 died (I forgot to turn off the one setting on the body that told it not to engage the autofocus – the lens was on manual focus). Canon G9 to the rescue! Popped that bad boy on a tripod in front of me in the front seat on Time lapse movie mode and 1 second intervals and that got us all the way into Rapid City.

Processing was interesting. Same deal as yesterday, but with 4,500 images from the Nikon – import and export at 15 frames a second this time. Now import this file into Final Cut Pro HD in NTSC space, plus the four movie clips form the Canon. Put ‘em all in the timeline, hit export and head out for some night shooting. Came back later, uploaded to Vimeo, let that process overnight (upload too 24 minutes), and embed here on the site this morning.

Day 3 (Today): Figured that it was far easier to record a movie file instead of thousands of little JPGs. So, we are running the G9 all day. First half battery ran out twice (forgot to charge it last night, and a 25 minute charge at lunch did not cut it). So we bought an AC 100V invertors and ran the Nikon again in the middle fo the day on 0:10 second intervals, and now back to the Canon at 2 second intervals.

We’re rolling through Sheridan, Wyoming right now on Interstate 90 and I’m typing this up so we can have more fun time tonight instead of blogging time. :) What a beautiful Sunset.

–SpamzZalot

6:21 PM mountain time

“Rapid” … hrmpff.

… the ‘Crazy’ part might have been unnecessary.

At the Rapid City based School of Mining and Technology, there are a group of people who are build miniature flying vehicles with “AI” that are basically designed for tasks like killing Osama Bin Laden. Okay, so they haven’t mounted any weapons on these babies yet (a la Terminator), but the days where the robots we invent come to kill us are just a little bit closer.

That’s Mason on the far right in the future-unabomber hoodie.  Mason, if you’re out there and you want to put your mad scientist skills to good, let us know!

20080928100129

All in all, the hotel was alright.  I’d give it 3 stars if they hadn’t sent us to an occupied room.  Service was friendly .. especially Darwin, Betsy and Sara.

We did not stop, but we were exposed to a Wall Drug billboard from the east side of South Dakota all the way to the west side. And even after leaving Wall, there one more billboard reminding you you had one more chance to visit Wall Drug!

Anyhoo, it got me to thinking. Thinking about how they had small, carefully crafted billboards with one topic on them. Kinda like Google AdWords. No joke. They were the visual equivalent of spam. Constant interruption from the flowing flatlands of South Dakota. But, like much interruptive advertising, there was one or two billboards that spoke to me. Not enough to make me want to stop after ALL THAT WAITING to see what Wall Drug was about. DInner and beer won. No tchotchkes could stop the mouth-watering I wanna beer feeling. Too bad.

But it did raise the question. Actually, Zoo asked me how many people stop because of it. I said that was the wrong question. The right question is how many more people stop than if there was no advertising? Zoo said that’s what he meant. I said that’s not what you said, though… He acquiesced, so I win. The point being that we guess that they get 10x more visitors simply by awareness of their business. But 1-5 impressions is not enough. I am guessing, but there are probably over 80 billboards in the state for Wall Drug. Wuh… Hurts me, left me laughing and thinking. They win. Except I did not buy anything – I am just telling other people about it ;)

Gotta go make the time-lapse movie of our trip today. See you in a bar, or the comments section here on the site posts.

– SpamZalot

And then headed out to the bar after dinner …

And Zoo and I met Lauren, Amy and Lauren at Billy Frog’s …

… the coolest bar open in Omaha on this Saturday night.

Where minors are not allowed…

A typical response to the Zoo Broker’s pickup lines…

Then shots were had..

… and good times followed …

The big guns were brought out…

And the age was verified…

Things could be worse…

“I swear her ID said 21…”

So Spammer left it to chance and played pin the tail on the map. We headed west.

I’ve been to Omaha a few times in my life, for work (the Henry Doorly Zoo is a big customer), and I’ve had some incredible fun here, between seeing Bright Eyes at the Sokol Underground and the seemingly endless stream of Creighton lasses …

But I’m skipping ahead (you can too and just watch the timelapse below). We headed out of Denver, and Spammer realizes that he hasn’t added me as a driver to the rental car. Oops. Next rental location? Lincoln, Nebraska, 500 miles away. Oops. We’re not turning back. This is a road trip. There’s no crying in road trips. There’s just Spammer driving almost 600 miles by his lonesome.

I did try my hand at riding the local fauna but before you know it, we’ve crossed the border into the plains …

There’s so much more to say, but we’re under the gun and there’s a bachelorette with my name written all over her.

Things to cover:

• Upstream Brewing Company, our awesomely cool waitress JerriBerri and the super tasty ribeyes!
• What happens tonight!

Here’s the driving vid:

Denver to Omaha in Four Minutes from Sir Arthur SpamZalot on Vimeo.

This is what we listened to today:

• the Pillows
• TV on the Radio
• Two Gallants
• Tilly and the Wall
• Nine Inch Nails
• Peter and the Wolf
• the Privates
• the Punch Brothers
• Okkervil River
• Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
• Johnathan Rice
• Sunset Rubdown
• Wolf Parade
• Billy Bragg
• Blitzen Trapper
• Man Man
• Mates of State
• Pink Nasty
• Mirah
• the White Stripes
• 2Pac & Biggie
• Rod Stewart
• the Red Hot Chili Peppers
• Neutral Milk Hotel
• Flipsyde
• Falco (Rock Me Amadeus) [seriously]
• Bon Jovi  [less seriously]
• the Eels
• Old Crow Medicine Show
• Rilo Kiley
• Social Distortion
• the Yeah Yeah Yeahs
• Radiohead
• Tom Waits
• Zero7
• the Kinks
• the Flaming Lips
• Sufjan Stevens
• Grizzly Bear
• Led Zeppelin
• Phish [ugh]
• Marco Mahler
• Norah Jones
• Citizen Cope
• Air
• Peter Gabriel
• Alexi Murdoch

The trip was important to me – as an act of asserting my independence, plus it was the beginning of a long road to discover who I was and what I wanted without the source of the confusion “in the room”. 

I’ve always loved getting lost. Seriously. I always have had the feeling that I can find my way out of anything, no matter how unfamiliar the territory. The road trip was a symbol of this, and an act in addition. My life had become unfamiliar territory and it terrified me. I had to make a decision – was I worth believing in what I wanted? Could I find my way to someplace I liked from this weird surrounding? The end of this journey led back to an empty home and an uncertain future divided by a marital separation. It was on a trial basis in more than one way… and I nearly went berserk getting to that point. But part of my enjoyment of being lost is once again finding my way. It’s the reward. I can’t say that I found my way on this trip, but it was the beginning of establishing an internal compass that pointed the way to a better place.

Fortunately, Zoo, out of the kindness of his heart, asked if I would be his traveling companion on a road trip and thus RT1 was born. Who knew if there would be another? 

My favorite moments:

The original greatest road on earth, parts I & II 

Vegas – being there for fun instead of business and doing it up right. Intelligent strippers turn me on so much more than bubbleheads.

Santa Fe – will always have a place in my heart.

My first real road trip – I mean how can you beat your first?

We hit Breckenridge for a day of skiing:

I am smiling here, but this was on the tail end of my flu. Combine that with smoking and an altitude of 10,000 feet. Eesh. Every 1/3 of a run I’d lean on my poles and wheeze and hack up phlegm. But it was soooo worth it. I skied the Rockies for the first time, although I can barely remember it. The village reminded me of growing up in the Adirondacks – it was very much reminiscent of Lake Placid, only very yuppiized. Although that’s what I hear happened to Lake Placid, too.

So, Zoo began schooling me on pool at Tarantula’s (see center of this photo). Lots of tables, sometimes lots of cute gals, though I wasn’t in any condition to appreciate that :(

Denver is a great-looking city. I mean, ain’t it grand to have the Rockies as your neighbor?

And we had our first encounter with Croc’s. Ummmmmm, yeah. We made friends with one of the watresses and had a blast drinking with her and the other wait staff the following evening.

And after that, a jealous male friend form the wait staff almost killed hisself tearing through red lights in a drunken state because someone decided that sticking a tongue out at at him was good behavior. Score one for sobriety. Dork should have listened to us and not driven. We checked the next day and he ended up OK.

Ah, Denver. A great cooldown after 1,862 miles driven and 32 Starbucks visited

IMO, Albequerque was pretty boring. We stopped in Old Town for lunch. Great food. Looked touristy. The outskirts of town, coming in on Route 66 looked tired… not in an interesting way. But I did stop at a roadside stand to get some nuts I had never had before. They were like pistascios in a sunflower seed shell. Good shit.

Albequerque has an Edo section (East Downtown) that is similar to Williamsburg in Brooklyn – gentrification and such. Trendy kids, cheap flats.

We stopped so Zoo could look at some apartments he had heard about in an old school. Pretty cool, if you ask me, but unfortunately, it’s a heavily gated community, and we go there at 5:15, so they office was closed. Looked cool anyway.

Santa Fe is only ’bout 2 hours north of there. Arrived around dusk.

Checked in and went out to Cowgirl for dinner. More barbeque and texas chili fries. Yum. After that, a local bar with live music. Was D-E-A-D in Santa Fe, but it was a godo time to drink. So I did! And if you’re ever at 7,500 feet (or any altitude you’re not used to…), here is a rule of thumb: DRINK ONLY 1/2 OF WHAT YOU’RE USED TO DRINKING, NOT DOUBLE.

Yup – you guessed it. A massive hangover and some embarrassing moments. Like flirting with 50-something lesbians. Hey – they were awesome! Great gals.

Anyway… next day – terrible hangover and then some nasty 24-hour flu. In bed for a day. Went our for lunch – incredible green chili stew, then back in bed. Stayed overnight – bad weather coming in and our plans to skit at Taos ruined becuase they don’t like snowboarders (Ki snowboards, I ski). One of our goals is to run up to the Aspen are and see an old friend of mine from high school… but blizzard is coming in, ole’ Spammer is sick and the west side of the Rockies is looking dangerous to drive over in February…

So far, Santa Fe has felt more right than any city, despite the fact that I am dead sick and can barely understand what’s going on. It’s full of artists and beautiful surroundings. It’s like a small town, comfy and a short run gets you to the wilderness or skiing.

Zoo loves his beef jerky. He likes spicy beef jerky even more. Apparently, it’s low in fat and high in protein. Much better for you than potato chips. I believe he was shocked by how hot this was, though…

We were aimed towards making Seonda, AZ when we spotted a way to loop down south from Ash Fork under and come up on it so that we didn’t have to backtrack. We hate driving the same road twice and will do anything to avoid it. It simply isn’t in the road tripper spirit, or manly.

As we drove down the highway, Zoo spotted a side road the seemed to cut north of the mountains and drop straight into Sedona. I said, “where is it?”

He pointed, “there!” SHARP LEFT, boogie right, then stop. That wonderful, bullet-ridden sign and a cattle gate. I’m form the East Coast and had never seen a cattle gate. I was afraid we would fall in. No worries, we forged on into… cattle land.

Wide open spaces, black steer staring us down with clumps of yellow grass hanging from their mouths… it was idyllic. It was awesome. It was exciting. We stop and bust out the film camera. Bam. Wow. Breathless, because I knew the latent images I was burning into the silver halides would knock me over… I mean, how could they not? This was the great unknown. Now.

And this was just the beginning…

After this, the road dipped through gullies, wound around lots of enormous ranches and we passed (I swear) only seven trucks on their way out and one poor PT Cruiser loaded with a family later on… But I will get to that.

It was gorgeous. No one was around, we had a feeling (mind you, only a feeling) we would make it out of this alive when we realized that turning back would put us severely out of our way and damage our manly road tripping egos. So, despite the disappearing light and rising elevation, we pressed on. It was only supposed to be about 9 miles on rough road, and this was all dirt and gravel, baby.

That’s when the PT Cruiser passed us, loaded with parents, kids and vacation accoutrements. We gasped and sighed. Oh, God, they are not likely to make it out of here. I mean, we were looking at little gray lines on the map and there were tons of branchings on the way to where we were at this point, and they were just starting at dusk! Hopefully, they were headed out to a ranch… Bu that PT Cruiser was a little lower to the ground than our Toyota Highlander had a titch more clearance… We waved at them like the devil was chasing them. They just smiled gaily and waved back… Sigh…

As we continued on, the hills and gullies turned into mountainous terrain. We had gone from almost-desert flatlands to the mountains, and it was just plain invigorating. And we did NOT want to be out in this area in the dark. As we crested a rise and saw the cut in the mountain ahead, our hopes rose, and then the road curve to the right and switchbacked around mountainsides, no guard rail, 10′, 20′ 40′ 100′ drops around the mountains… eventually bringing us to the cut in the mountain pass.

It was dusk, and I swear as we passed through the cut onto the near-summit, a wash of moisture passed over us. We stopped the truck,hopped out and landed in mud. It was totally arid moments before and all along our path. Spread out below us was the Sedona Valley, lit up and glittering… waiting for us to come and quench out thirst on their beer, and perhaps make a pass at some locals. Squish. Cold. Wonderful.

We hopped back in the car and headed down to what we hoped was a little town called Jerome. On the edge of town, our welcome was a sign that bore this warning, “IF YOU CAN READ THIS, YOU ARE IN RANGE” and it was ridden with bullet holes and rode a chain-link fence with barbed wire. WTF? We boogied.

And in 100 yards, we were in the quaint, artsy town of Jerome. WTF again? We were relieved, and proceeded to drive down the windy (paved) roads into Sedona. Dropped our shite off at the hotel and went out for brisket at a local family-style BBQ joint.

I look like a deer in the headlights, right?

So we headed out for a bit of LA sunshine. I got a haircut. You know, fresh beginnings and all that crap. Then eventually we made our way over to West Hollywood and eat a fantastic dinner, complete with margaritas delicious-o at Spanish Kitchen on North LaCinenega. Highly recommended if you’re going to head over to the super-secret bar after that.

So, we walked uphill to that bar we won’t mention because it’s so awesome and we don’t want to share… but we’ll post a photo anyway and if you figure it out, then go enjoy yourself.

I was deliberately ready to get trashed. I admit it. I needed to forget a whole bunch of things and I did get trashed… But while running headlong down this path, we met some so-LA people. I was tossing back Hoegaardens and Zoo was drinking his Tequila Gimlets. I think we was keeping 2 for 1 in front me, swell gut that he is :)

We sat at  long table. I slapped down my audio recorder and camera. I turned on the recorder and after a few minutes of chatting with our neighbors, this fella who had no neck fornwed and asked if I was recording the conversation. I relied, “yes.”

“Why are you recording it? Are you a reporter?”

“Yes, of a sort,” I replied. “I am reporting on my life.”

He grabs the recorder, starts rattling off his name, his agent’s name and the fact that this was an unauthorized recording. No joke – it’s LA. Passes it down the table and three or four more people do the same. He hands it back to me and says, “let’s party, man.” And we did. Turns out he and his gal were from the same area of NJ I was living in at the time.

So our table was decorated well…

And our neighbors were a hoot. LA hoot, that is..

Zoo made some friends (I was so gone at this point, I am surprised I could aim a camera…)

(thinks that guy… Yes!!!! It didn’t!)

I love you, too, LA.

Seems like everyone was looking for a salt lick that night.