The official road trip doesn’t start until the 11th … look for updates starting around then …

In the meantime, enjoy this tip of the day:

Things You Can Slice With An Egg Slicer

Eggs
Mushrooms
Strawberries
Pieces of Banana
Boiled Potatoes

Things You Cannot Slice With an Egg Slicer

Apples
Zucchini*
Raw Potatoes*

*Not actually tested, because it broke on the apple.

This was a pretty sedate road trip. I was more introspective than a good road trip partner should be, with long quiet stretches. Part of that was because I didn’t really take that quiet time for myself in the weeks leading up to the trip. But Phaux was built with the emotional sense to let me be. Thank you, Phaux.

I’ve been to all the places we visited on our road trip … this time we took a different path to get there. Even the drive to Whistler was repaved for our travels — Fuck it, I’m sick of metaphor and aphorism. I can’t even continue with that thought. Vomit.

The posts … those events that reached some level of noteworthiness … only tell part of the story … these were my highlights:

I like your parts more than you like mine.
The last time I was down this road … I was in love.
Who knew hairspray could provide so much amusement (read comments)
Who knew I had worn those jeans for 7 days?
Enjoy my awesome leather jacket .. it’s yours now.

Phaux, thanks for being an awesome friend, for picking up the slack when I was letting it loose. Of any cohort (who I’m not going to have sex with) I could choose for a road trip, the mohawked sentographer is certainly the best. RT4 is in the books. Already looking forward to the Great Lakes.

First off, Zoo is a GREAT road mate. Words cannot express his huge contribution to the road trips being extraordinary, but I’ll give it a shot..

He is unflinching about being alive and living life his way. I have great respect for him, even when I disagree. His travel is experience is deep, so having him along adds a layer of comfort, especially when he says, “Can we drive down on that iced over river?”  (unnamed rental car company, please do not read this). His encouragement of me and other people to go outside their boundaries and live a little makes life interesting and fun. There’s so much more, but my point is sincerely that I appreciate you, Zoo. Thanks for the miles and the smiles, dude.

Places
#1 Portland
#2 Banff 
#3 Vancouver 

I could move to Portland tomorrow and be a very happy man. I will visit Banff many times in the future. And Vancouver is a damn cool city.

Highlights
Kennedy School – just plain awesome
The Doug Fir and Rontoms are great bars with fun people. Always wanted to drink at the Doug Fir and I learned that the Indie Music scene in Portland is great at Rontoms.
My beautiful skull
Banff, the beautiful
Best Road
Biggest Unanswered Question
Whistler Village, BC

Panoramas

Favorite People Photo
 

Best Breakfast – Voula’s (Sorry, Portland!)
Best Lunch – St. James Gate Gangers and Mash
Best Dinner – Tie between Slo Bar (burger) in Portland and Grizzly House (fondue) in Banff

Growth
Every single road trip we make includes opportunities taken to plant seeds, leave room for gestation and let the new rear its head. On this trip, I was a lot more emotionally stable than prior trips, so instead my personal growth included being a bit more “one of the guys.” My life prior to this didn’t really have opportunity to ever be a wingman, play in bars, flirt outrageously, etc. It was a fairly “normal” path towards the American Dream of having the house, marriage and kids. Now I am living a new bachelor life and finding out that not only do I like being alone, but I also like learning more about what I may like in a relationship with each new gal with whom I spend a little time.

The result? I still believe in love and fidelity in a committed relationship. But it’s not something I’ll die over if I don’t get it now… In the meantime I’m having fun.

As for Zoo, I know he had his own thoughts gestating during the trip. I won’t presume to comment on them, but I do think they are going to stay underground for some more nutrients and water in the dark.

On another topic, I have some more thoughts about authenticity. It is a slight paradox that I choose to use a pseudonym on this site, but firmly believe in transparency and authenticity. This is brought into relief by one of Zoo’s posts where during that evening I gave out personal information, but not info about this site. It turned out for the best, because the fun-poking from Zoo could be hurtful should the site be found. Nothing terrible, just not entirely nice. And here is the crux of the matter… What Zoo posts is not my responsibility, but I do share the site with him. Do I reveal what he posts by revealing the site, or do I let it pass? That question lies unanswered at present. So I also have something that needs more time to grow before I can make a decision.

It’s also apparent that I am still learning the fine art (snicker) of being a wingman. It’s foreign to me, and my beliefs. In parallel, I also believe that it’s far easier to condemn something without every trying it. Greater understanding comes with experience. Easier said, I’ll try anything once. In this case, if everyone is out to have a good time then it’s a part of the “game.” My gut feeling is that I am far too sincere to be a wingman. ;)

Compare to before RT4

Biggest personal disappointment: Ummm… being a little naive about ’signals’

2nd biggest personal disappointment: Not actually engaging in deliberate Sentography, only holistic.

Biggest personal success: Frankly, enjoying myself with unfamiliar women on short notice. I’ve been removed from that world for a long time… I usually work into relationships over a long period of time. Bars and dating are almost a foreign language to me.

Wrapup
Every road trip is a potent reminder that we have to choose to enjoy our days, not wait for enjoyment to find you. Make the things you want happen, but don’t expect to be able to plan every road between here and what you want, leave that to chance – it’s more fun that way.

And finally, get yourself a mohawk. It’s the tits.

But as I started to empty the list faster than I could add to it, I still had an inconsolable emptiness. It was the emptiness of knowing that I was less than I had ever hoped to be. So I paused the list. I took a different tact, and embraced an ascetic life, a quiet and mundane existence. I left behind those things that others might have seen as an extraordinary life and replaced them with the daily repetition of the ordinary.

I found a girl, lived in one little city, worked a somewhat regular schedule, hung out in the local bar. I had date night, poker night, bar night, my phone time with a few friends around the country.

Eliminating the constant distractions let me see that it was not the bricks that mattered, but the mortar. The people who accompanied me for all those accomplishments. The opportunities for self-examination in those hours waiting at the airport.

The road trips are one of the few obviously extraordinary weeks I have each year. But as much as I look forward to them, it’s what they do to the 6 months in between. How they gild the mundane, remind me to relish my own smallness, magnify what is important to me — magnify it to ignition.

The last time around, I needed a push — there’s no doubt that I got it. This time around, I don’t need a kick in the pants, I’m not looking for anything but to enjoy time with a friend (and maybe grief some Mennonites). I know it will remind me that I am right where I’m supposed to be.

I’ve removed all but one last goal from “my 50″. Phauxtog, keep an eye out for feral cats.

Last time around we posted separate pre-trip musings to set the emotional and cerebral stage for what could easily be seen as a vacation for two rowdy guys. Heck, we’re not nearly as shallow as we may come off. We certainly like to have fun, but it’s easy to say that both of us derive a lot of enjoyment from working out the bullshit from daily life and coming home a newer and better person each time. I expect this trip to be just as illuminating, if not more.

The only thing that is a real shame is that I wanted to shed some poundage prior to this, but I chose other priorities. My own damn fault. Whatevs, I am who I am, all the time.

So here I sit in my apartment, drinking some Peets Major Dickason’s and waking up from a long week (seven weeks) of work and visiting friends and their art shows. All in all, I am very happy with how my life is going right now. I’m being social in the wake of an extended separation and rough divorce last year, I’m making new friends, making art, shooting more than ever, making great progress at work, meeting gals I like and some like me back, and growing up in big ways.

For instance, I’ve learned one of those really important life lessons – how to be friends with a woman I think is attractive. Seriously, it’s hard! Well, it was. I think it’s one part controlling primal instincts and one part choosing the more important benefit over satisfying said primal urge. For sure, the benefits of having meaningful friendships with members of the fairer sex outweigh a lack of it any day. But it’s something I really didn’t know how to do until this past year or two. I had a best friend, and she was a gal (and previously my wife), so it’s a skill I didn’t try to develop since attraction and friendship were wrapped together in one package. Being on my own, it’s now part of  my healthy lifestyle. After all, attraction is one of those intangibles that can strike quickly, but when you ask yourself, “What’s the benefit of not being myself because I am attracted to this gal?” it gets pretty easy to identify that there are none. So, on to being myself always. In the end, that is the goal paramount to staying happy all the time.

So what big things can I focus on for this road trip? Sentography, right? 

Sentography: dynamic forms of communication of emotion and qualities.

A portrait photographer worth their salt always looks to make a person or people a story out of a moment. A sentographer has to take this one step further – not just make someone look good and natural, but capture them in a natural state of emotion. And make it cathartic, damnit! (snicker).

So in addition to my regular path of always reaching for more self-improvement and having maximum fun, I will add to this my ability to help people delve into themselves and then capture those moments. Perhaps we’ll post interviews, too. Not sure how this is going to work, but I do know that somehow, it will.

I guess that last sentence is something I say to myself often and that’s a big part of who I am today. I believe in me.

So, RT4 (Road Trip 4 for the uninitiated), I’m coming for you. Be ready to bare your soul.

Vistas. Panoramas. Breathtaking views. Open road. Skiing. Canada! Seattle! The Canadian Rockies! Portland! The Pacific Ocean. 

Potential. Progress. Presence. Authenticity. Expansion. Refinement.

One thing I’ve realized being a passionate night (photo)sentiographer for so long is that is easily perceived as darkness, over time, becomes something much closer to day.

Continues after the break…

Four minutes exposed, and night becomes day. Thoughts, over time, expose deeper meaning much the same way.

I’ve been on an expansive path for a few years now, and the more I learn about myself, the more I know I can be more, do more, achieve more of my dreams. Coffee and cigarettes may fuel my body in the morning, but passion and dreams fuel my choices. I choose to pursue an open-ended road trips because it enables possibilities. Thinking in terms on long exposure, I wish that the 10 day road trip were two months. 

Why? It’s certainly not vacation greed; I enjoy my day job very much. No, I know that I would get much deeper insights over a longer stay away from my daily existence. Much like a 15 minute exposure

reveals a bright city bustling even in moonlight behind a darkened and forgotten rail transfer station and glassy water that is the visual sum of all its movement, I am thinking about what the total experience would equal over a period six times longer.

My best guesses:

• I would discover that I have larger goals that are dismissed out of practicality  
• I would meet other people experiencing a similar freedom from “normal” life
• I would relax more than I have in ten years
• I would come up with previously unfound and potentially amazing creative ideas
• I would find twenty more places I would consider living

Why am I even doing this mental exercise? Am I ungrateful for this 10-day window? Not at all – I live for this. And I ask myself because I want to push a boundary. That being that I have a fairly standard schedule to my life. I am grateful for its consistency, but I wonder if I am using my time the best I can… I am certainly growing in many facets: career, knowledge, skill, etc. but something feels like it wants to explode out of the gate – my creativity. and nine’ish hours a day allow only restricted access to that.

All that out of the way, Rt4 is one month away and it’s gonna be one hell of a ride. We have a surprise or two for you, and I’m sure we’ll be served some of our own ;)

So, start counting the days. Seattle, here we come!

There’s a certain phrase bandied about, “The grass is always greener on the other side.” I’ve heard it applied in so many ways, including in reference to relationships (and how it isn’t… eventually), work  (and how it isn’t… eventually) and playtime (and how it isn’t… eventually – getting the point?) But a new insight is that I appreciate vacation more for having a regular job and vice versa. Like not knowing how wonderful light is only in its absence, you have to have opposites (or dissimilarities) to appreciate. Again, comparisons are the key. They are the reference, the measuring stick and the opportunity for insight. (more…)

On the other hand, it is conceivable that you can appreciate something simply because you can. If you have the clarity of self to see what you have/do and like it for what is is, is it not possible to simply enjoy that without juxtaposing? I believe so.

If you believe your grass is green, then it is. ‘Nuff said.

So now I am at home, enjoying the comfort of my well-chosen green couch, cat by my side, after a full day of work where I am appreciated and I appreciate it. I like spam, and it likes me.

Let’s visit a moment from the road trip. Night in Cheyenne, and our new friend Tyler asked me, “So what does the rest of the country think of us in Wyoming?” My blank stare left room for him to elaborate. He continued, “You know, with all of the bad things that have happened here?” He gave me some details and I simply remarked, ” I don’t watch television, listen to the radio or listen to newspapers. I don’t know what these things are and my own opinion, because I can’t speak for everyone else, is that I like Wyoming, and everyone I have met so far. In addition, it’s getting better all the time. I am having fun and I’m going to tell everyone about it.” So there you have it, lots of beliefs wrapped in a tiny little conversation:

• What do other people think of me? (and how does that inform my own opinion of myself)
• I believe I am a good person and live with good people.
• What do you think of me/us?

I believe that every single person is distinct and different. Groupings and categorizations are unfair and unrealistic. Zoo figured this out, too. This is such a wonderful belief to reaffirm over and over while on the road. You meet the best people while holding this belief.

So, here is the real meat of this closing thought – you are what you believe. If you believe yourself to be open to new experiences, you will be. If you believe the gravel road under your wheels is the best possible path you can take at that moment, it will be. If you believe that the Amber Ale is crap and that the Stout is better (Zoo…), then so shall it be. And if you believe that you can do what you want to do and it will make you feel good… then you will feel like I do right now.

First, we started with a bang in Omaha, then I got to talk to a future mad scientist.  I got my ass kicked in virtual kung-fu under the stars.  We really did see The Most Amazing Road On Earth.  There was no you could plan this.  And we opened up the vault and found a great surprise.

There were so many more moments, but those are my top 6 … only two more posts from me before I close the door on RT3 and start looking forward.

When I said I was taking a road trip through the Plains and the Rockies, some people asked “Why would you want to do that?”. Others warned me of racists, guns and small minds and who knows what else. Forget that most of these folks have only seen the middle of the country from 30000 feet as they fly coast-to-coast: the mentality was that there was almost no reason to go check out what my Mountain Time Zone brothers are up to, except maybe for a ski vacation.

You might think you’d hear the similar complaints from the citizens of the Rockies – they did after all vote for George Bush, right? What love could they have for us liberal, wine-tasting, Prius-driving snobs? Wrong. Most people were genuinely interested in the goings-on out on the coasts, asking probing questions, and mostly, they just wanted to have a good time with us.

Think twice before you denigrate the “red states”. If you think the differences in our politics mean you can’t enjoy all the people and places around, you are the ones with the small minds.

Social spamming was hella fun.

Taking – no – MAKING time to have a road trip with Zoo Broker was one of the best decisions I have made this year, and let me tell you folks, it’s been a year for decisions. I so very enjoyed myself that it is hard to clearly explain. Perhaps all of the posts we made for you (well, for us really) will, in total, represent an experience that mirrors my path in life. Deliberately unplanned, but pursued with enthusiastic vigor.

Full entry after the jump.

If you take a peek at my opening musings, you’ll find that I put forth some goals for the trip. Let’s see how I did:

• Uncertain destinations (YES)
• Lots of photo-ops (YES)
• Some ridiculously inebrious evenings (YES)
• Perhaps double mileage versus previous trips (3,200 miles)
• Meaningful, probing conversation (YES, IN PLENITUDES)
• Insights (YES, WILL EXPAND ON THIS)
• Glee (YES)
• New people with interesting stories weaving into ours (YES, SEE BLOG)
• Potentially embarrassing moments (YES, SOME NOT SHARED WITH THE PUBLIC)
• Incredible discoveries only found via an open mind and no agenda (YES, SEE HERE & HERE)
• Deep, satisfying exhaustion (YES, TOOK A NAP YESTERDAY)

Do you achieve all your goals? I am not mystified at all that I did. I chose my priorities and focused on them. Everything else fell into place alongside this journey because I have learned (and practice) that you have to focus on the things you can control, and let everything else take care of itself.

Here is the wonderful part… Now I get to set NEW goals. Yes, exciting! I do already have some big plans involving some art, and am ready to jump on that immediately, as well as getting back to a healthy diet (big wink).

As for Zoo Broker, he has been the finest friend I could ask for. Exciting, sharing, generous, thoughtful, encouraging, brazen, inspiring and made me laugh until I cried more than a few times.

Let me share some insights that found me while on this epic journey.

People are generally the same, no matter where you go. To be specific, there are so many indiviual people with different goals and dreams (or dreads), that an generality by region is impossible. Each person you meet is full of potential. Some are more exceptional, and I think this is because they also have a keen interest in life.

America is diverse and wonderful. From the seediest piss-smelling alleys to the majestic and barren desert mountain ranges, it is a composition of amazing things. I love it all. Juxtaposition is the key. I recently went to an Edward Tufte seminar and he states that presenting data without comparison is a meager meal. In this case, seeing the smallest of towns (population 16) to the big metropolises, the plains to the Rockies, the desert to the forest gave me a grand scale for comparison. It’s within these differences that lie the opportunity for gratitude, and I am very grateful to have learned more about my country.

I knew this already, but it has been reinforced during this trip: If you do not make time to do the things you love, you may never do them. Just change your priorities.

Being selfish is not a bad thing. After all, who is more important in this world than yourself? I had an interesting conversation with a mostly drunk architect last night and brought up my favorite question (for architects), “Have you read THE FOUNDTAINHEAD?” LOLz, it realy gets some of them going. I see that book as having lots of people acting on the beliefs surrounding “being selfish”. Exercising your personal right to choose happiness for yourself before choosing it for other people is what I choose. In general, America sees selfish as a very negative word. I do not. I will always choose my happiness first. This does, however, go hand in hand with the belief that I treat the world as I want to be treated. That is harmony.

Doing unplanned things is one of the best ways to learn something you do not know. It sounds so obvious, but you won’t know what Imean until you do it. Why re-learn things you know? Life is toooooo short.

Take the time to tell other people that you like your life. It helps the world become a better place when people know that happiness is out there…

As Zoo Broker repeatedly says, “the opportunity never taken is something that will never happen. It’s always better to do it, than not do it.” You only get one chance (that we know of) here and now. Do something you like with it.

–SpamZalot

Spammer calls me an “instigator” — that I like to “remind people that they are alive”. Well, these past 10 days have reminded me that I was still alive, that there are things to do — maybe not things of great import – but at least to find some excuse or basic justification for my continued existence. It’s reminded me that the value of comfort — the easy life – it pales in comparison to the value of adventure and challenge.

I’m looking forward to hitting the ground running when I get back to San Francisco – whether it’s to get started on my projects, breaking out the new drums and finishing our Road Trip song, or just causing general havoc.

Part 2 (Almost Ranting) to come tomorrow …

Elko: Whores, 24-hour access to alcohol and gambling, all-you-can-eat steakhouses.
SLC: Mormans, 24-hour access to group prayer, and all-you-can-marry churches.

We’ll give you some more details on Salt Lake City after we hang out a little tonight …

“Produced Something Astounding”.

Not bad words for my tombstone, now if I could only get someone to say it about me! For sure, this is a wake-up call. This morning I contrasted Spammer’s ACTUAL art production to my own. I said: “People are my canvas” .. which conjures up a better catch phrase: “The Audience Is the Canvas”. Good catch phrase, even though it’s MEANINGLESS.

For fuck’s sake, what I do, although not lacking in skill or imagination, is NOT art. I gotta get on it.

It’s a wonderful feeling, especially when you have no plan as to destination, except for where you might want to be when you go to sleep.

Today we rolled out of Montana into Wyoming, back into Montana and down most of Idaho. On our left were mountains of many varieties – including razortooth, barren to tall, gravelly evergreen covered and massive, piled groupings off in the distance. The landscape went from cool and green to yellowing to farmland. All of it was beautiful in it’s own way.

One thing that amazes me is that when ask people if they like where they are living, it’s mostly “no” and a rolling of the eyes. Omaha was the exception. Why? Wishing for escape? I see a lot of people loading themselves with wishes to not be someplace and not doing anything about it. Or, perhaps, not trusting themselves to make good decisions and act on them. Another possibility is that they are so focused on what they don’t like that they are not thinking about what they do like. An absence of being grateful, if you will.

I’ve learned that knowledge and experience is best reinforced by comparison. Zoo and I have talked about this at length as the miles rolled by… An ideal example is me writing about being grateful to know so much more of America. Out of all the states we have visited, I have only been to Colorado. Now I have firsthand experience in so much more of America, and having a social lubricant in the form of Zoo Broker along only makes the experience richer.

America is large and diverse in many respects. If you live here, do yourself a favor and take the time to explore it.

In the summer of 1993, I felt like a minority for the first time. At that point, I’d been a minority for all of my life, “the only brown around”, but it didn’t occur to me that people thought or acted any different based on that. To me, racism was something confined to history books, South Africa, and a few counties in Alabama; crossing the river into North Platte, Nebraska, I suddenly realized that the haven of blue-state America had evaporated about 1200 miles before when I left California. Cops hassled and followed us. People stopped everything they were doing and stared. A motel tried to refuse a room that had already been booked.

That was my first road trip, from San Francisco to Baltimore and I was hooked. I had found something so utterly alien from anything I had experienced in the 17 years prior – it was obvious: “there must be some really crazy shit out there”.

It was my first time seeing the Rockies and the Salt Flats of Utah. We crossed the Mississippi just as the Great Flood of 1993 was getting underway. I saw drops of rain so large and so driven that when they pelted the road, they exploded in what looked like a million enormous glass butterflies.

And that was just 4 days.

On the eve of another road trip, it’s hard not to think about those previous journeys across America, Canada and South America, the roads and the towns, the people I’ve met, the things I’ve learned. But before this trip, more than ever, I’m looking forward more than back. Maybe it’s because I just broke up with my girlfriend. Maybe it’s where I am in life, directionless and stagnant, without purpose. My best friend said to me a few weeks ago while we were looking through pictures: “Where’s the fire? Where did that guy go?”

It’s wrong to blame my relationship; the flame had been extinguished before that. Now all that remains is a barely breathing pilot light. Fuck! that sounds bathetic. But right now, that’s what’s inside.

Going on a road trip looking for anything in particular, unless it’s made of concrete, metal or stone, is a bad idea. You’re guaranteed to miss out on things that are right before your eyes when you’re always looking over the horizon. But this time I am looking for something – my bearings. I can’t think of anyone better than the Spammer to search with, someone who is dedicated to self-awareness, self-improvement and the careful examination of one’s self that goes with it.

The road trip is tinder. Here’s to the fire.

.

– Zoobroker

• Uncertain destinations (check!)
• Lots of photo-ops
• Some ridiculously inebrious evenings
• Perhaps double mileage versus previous trips (3,000+ miles this time around)
• Meaningful, probing conversation
• Insights
• Glee
• New people with interesting stories weaving into ours
• Potentially embarrassing moments
• Incredible discoveries only found via an open mind and no agenda
• Deep, satisfying exhaustion

And that’s just for starters.

On our first road trip, I was in a tumultuous emotional state, having just achieved a separation from things in spirit and a material sense. OK, I was a fucking mess. The open road, the time with a kindred and encouraging spirit really was pivotal at that time in my life. You know, being a spammer is hard. No one understands you, nor wants to…

The second time around, I was in much a better headspace. I was participating in an art show (about artful spam, of course) and topped off the tail end with a trip from Sonoma County to Yosemite to LA and back to San Francisco. Great trip, better off in the old chestbox.

This time around, I’m even stronger having hit my 100,000,000 email goal. Feeling really accomplished. And my neighbors haven’t even caught on yet… So fun.

Stage being set, now it’s time to take off my game face and get down to the serious business of disconnecting, relaxing and doing some social spamming on the road. You know, face to face.

Goals:
Yes, it’s good to define your goals before embarking on anything worth spending your time doing… I always start here.

1. See states I have never visited before
2. Meet interesting people
3. Expand my limits – release more silly inhibitions
4. Make art – work on my night photography
5. Enjoy the awesome conversations with Zoo Broker
6. Eat delicious red meat, and more delicious things
7. Post a whole bunch of stuff along the way with minimal effort

Expectations:
None. Expectations are a tool of the devil (in whom I don’t believe, but it’s fun to invoke him).

Destination Unknown:
It’s not the destination, it’s the journey.

Based on this simple guiding principle, we have crafted our road trip as an uncrafted journey. Our arrival and departure at Denver Airport and my first night’s stay are the only planned waypoints. The rest has been dreamed about, but not planned. Whether we head towards Kansas or Vancouver tomorrow morning is decided when Zoo Broker gets in the Jeep in the morning.

It’s important to enjoy the present. Road trips are a wonderful way to get in the now. Every mile behind you is in the past, each mile ahead is in the future, but the only place you are is where you are – in the present.

Not planning leaves the tiller free to follow the decisions made in the moments that matter. So we embrace the spirit of freedom and living in the present by deliberately making decisions on the fly.

The interesting thing I remember from our last two trips is how everything becomes a mashup in the present. But somehow the past always gets solved and left behind to stay where it belongs. The long miles, good tunes and two overactive intelligent minds always make for new revelations and interesting new experiences. Like when we went to our favorite watering hole in LA… I turned on my audio recorder and put it on the table, which we shared with about 8 other locals. One fellow’s head swiveled after a few minutes and he asked me directly, “Is that thing recording?”

I replied, “Yes.”

His neck was very muscular and large. He was an imposing man. “Why are you recording this?”

I replied simply, “For me.”

His eyes narrowed, “are you a reporter?”

“Yes.”

“For who?” (Grammar wasn’t his strong point – he is from NJ)

“Myself.”

“Wha?” He reaches over and takes the recorder off the table. “My name is XXXXX and my agent’s name is XXXX. This is an unauthorized recording and I do not give permission for it to be reproduced in any form without my express written consent. My lawyer’s name is XXXX.” 

And then he passes the recorder to his friend, who repeats this performance with his own deets. Repeat four more times. Guy #1 gently puts it on the table, looks up at me and says, “Let’s drink!”

The rest of the evening is unpublishable, but hilarious; some of it is swimmingly lost in erased memories. But my photo hand was strong. I gots the pixels from that night.

Remember to focus on what’s happening now. It’s the journey, not the destination.

– Sir Arthur SpamZalot
written in Newark airport, flight leaves in 2 hours 

Some of the fragments that I remember right now …

… Spammer standing outside Barney’s Beanery (after rocking the house, karaoke style, of course), hammered, telling me that he might urinate himself. Fat girl groping me. Taping conversation with the agent of an actor (who shall remain unnamed) ranting about said actor.

… strippers who had book recommendations.

… the ceiling of dollar bills in Seligman, THE road.

… Spammer getting deathly ill in Santa Fe, getting groped by cougars, chili.

… Breckenridge, Crocs, Spammer watching Christy kissing me like a rabbit, “poor baby”, her friend almost killing himself running a red light.